I think Iīm having some sort of postpartum depression.. only this one is prepartum.. or something like that...

Iīm excited about our baby.. but I just donīt feel "as" excited... whenever I see something cute.. or even think about her.. I think about what the hubs might think and cry...and obviously get sad...

I miss his hand rubbing my belly.. and Iīm starting to hate people rubbing it.. itīs got to the point it makes me feel uncomfortable...

I also hate when my mom rubs my hand or wants to hug me.. (I know she means good, and while Iīve never been too keen or tolerant to touching, lately itīs started to irritate me even more)...

Iīve lost interest in certain things.. like "why should i bother doing this or that... hubby is no longer here" (gross example.. shaving my legs.. and some other meaningless stuff)..

the kids have been a huge motivator.. but itīs hard not having him around..

and I really thank you all for still being here and keeping us in your thoughts and prayers...believe me youīve helped me so much already..