Quote Originally Posted by LoisCat View Post
I have 3 beauties mom & two sons (Kit Kat the mom is 6 years old, Tiger Boy from the first litter was 5 in March and Junior from 2nd litter will 5 in October)
Been feeding & giving love to a stray i call Big Boy who is also 5 years old - somebody moved out and left him outside since he was a year old. was unable to adopt him at that time cause my late husband was very sick Now that he passed away i want very much to make Big Boy a part of the family in the house but my 3 go INSANE whenever he comes on the porch for breakfast & dinner forget bout letting him in !!!
poor guy - i sit outside with him whenever possible We play with toys and cuddle and he purrs his head off. how do i get him accepted inside without a blood bath or is it too late....
It can be done, as someone else mentioned. There are just a lot of baby steps you need to take to do it...It takes time and patience.

The first thing you need to do is have him vet checked because you do not want him bringing any diseases in such as intestinal parasites, fleas, coccidia, giardia, FIV, FIP, FeLV, etc.

Another thing to do which you can start doing as soon as you have him vet checked...rub him down with a towel or two and put those towels in the house with your cats.

Also neuter him ASAP. That will help cut down on territorial and aggression issues somewhat.

Arm your home with Feliway plug-in diffusers. Start Big Boy out in his own safe room with door shut. You can do room switching when he's comfortable in the house...let him out in the rest of the house while you shut the other cats away in another room.

Do scent swapping constantly...rub Big Boy with a towel and rub his smell on the other cats and vice versa. This will make everybody smell more familiar to each other, cats go by sense of smell more than sight.

Then stack baby gates one over the other in the door way of the safe room when you can supervise. This allows the cats to see, smell, hear and even touch each other but not get at each other. Switch what side of the gate you are on and try to encourage pleasant things with the cats gathered at the gates in the doorway. Give treats or try to encourage play.

When things are going well, start with short & supervised mingling sessions. Stop the sessions before anything unpleasant has a chance to happen...watch their body language carefully. You might want to start the mingling sessions one-on-one with Big Boy and whichever of your other cats seems calmest and most accepting of him.

Integration can be done, but it needs to be done properly and slowly. It can take months upon months to complete.