Marigold - try walking in the shoes of the "grandma" in this case.

So now YOU are grandma, and YOUR DAUGHTER is "veggie salad", who was once married and had a horrible accident during childbirth. Your once son-in-law takes this child and moves away, refusing to let your grandchild see his mother, and you in turn, can't see your grandchild. You ship your veggie salad daughter off to a nursing home and essentially abandon her, so you can get on with your life, and to Hell with her. Her "life" is over, the cards have been dealt, life is for the "living", so put her where she is out of sight/out of mind, and get back to your "normal" life, be happy, and live life to the fullest. How pathetic and sad..........

Is that what YOU would do??? I believe it is. I sincerely hope that your daughter never has the opportunity to read this thread.