Bill - I know the feeling of wanting to spin the chamber and let fate take the decision. Your cat is just an example of the kind of doorway you can walk through without religion or philosophy, an opportunity to marvel at the world. You are part of the world too, marvel at yourself. No employer, no girl friend can take anything of value away from who you are unless you let them.
Sorry to sound like a greetings card, but it sounds like you are experiencing something I recognize. Remember the Latin motto: 'Nil illegitimi Carborundum' - (Don't let the bastards gring you down!)
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