At 80 when Mama was discovered to have cancer, she already had dementia but the one things she was constant and firm about was, she didn't want surgery or treatment for her cancer. She clearly said she had a great life, enjoyed every minute of it but she was fine with "going" on and was ready. I respected that no matter how much the doctors pressed me to have her declared incompetent and get her that surgery. I have told my kids I hope they will respect MY wishes when my time comes like I did for Mama.

They said Mama had only a year without the surgery and it would be a long and painful death for her but I am here to tell you, they were wrong. She had GOOD quality of life up to the day she died and was even up and out of bed the day she died. If she'd had that surgery, she would never have gotten out of bed again. She did it HER WAY and to me that was the right way. She was at peace with her pending death, not afraid of it at all. I have said many times, while she was dying was some of the best times we ever had together.

My biggest fear all my life was being unable to care for myself, being completely helpless and a burden on my family. I hope when my time comes, I can do it with the peace and grace that my Mom did.