Why I Have Deleted Posts and Threads

[Edwina's Secretary]

I have been a member of PetTalk since March of 2001. Lots of things have happened during that time. Of course, 9/11 stands out. But lots of personal things as well. I have met some wonderful people. I have had lots of fun.

In fact, once upon a time that is what PetTalk was - fun. Sure, there was always some drama. There has been at least one marriage that I know of. There have been pets rescued, pets found new homes. There have also been some losses.

I think fondly of some of the fun - the Clam Juice thread always comes to mind. There was the "running amok" spree. There have been parties (I have hosted a few and attended a few more!) There have been people helping each other.

Some of the friends I've made are the best. I have toured Filoli (a must see - especially in the Spring!) the Winchester Mansion , eaten in Chinatown in San Francisco with PetTalk friends. Been to cat shows, two Oktoberfests (in Munich), Glasgow and the Chelsea Flower Show in London. Made up extra beds in my house for PetTalk visitors. I've said good-bye to two and four legged friends who left this world. I even sat in Mugsy's living room with her 11 very large dogs climbing all over us!

But there is one thing I did not do. I did not pay attention. Somewhere along the way the "rules" changed. It became different. There was still some fun, but there was a new element. Hard swinging, nose busting...bare knuckles. I've never backed off from a fight. So I was called a twit, ugly, stupid, commie and a list of names as long as your arm. And I gave back. I have strong convictions and do not see why I should back down.

But I did not pay attention. Until earlier this month. It was All Soul's Day. Someone posted a thread about a deceased PetTalker. Very nice. I replied that, in the spirit of the day, there were a couple of other PetTalkers who have died. Who I had the pleasure of meeting in person after meeting them on PetTalk. I was thrown off by the response. Clearly, my post was unwelcome. My suggestion to think of other late PetTalkers too was out of line.

I deleted my post. I thought it the right thing to do. I still think it was the right thing to do. There are some people who matter to me who would have been hurt if they had seen the response. Frankly, I think it would be a good idea if more posts were deleted.

If my post is unwelcome, if my thread brings out anger, hostility, offensiveness why not delete it? If something turns from fun to something very different - why leave it to fester? After all, it is my thread. My post.

I have deleted many of my posts and many of my threads. I hope to be able to save some of the ones that were so fun. I feel uncomfortable with the new rules. I feel somehow exposed with my threads and posts available to the new rules. No, I am not doing one of those dramatic "I'm leaving..." That would be silly. I am sorry for Karen and Paul. They work so hard. But time and all things change. So I'll sit back and wait for the next change. It should be interesting.

[sparks19]

maybe after your remeberance post not being welcomed you could have started a new thread for those you wished to remember outside of the thread dedicated to one person

I know that is not the POINT... but things change... life goes around ... and starting a new thread for this one thing could have given those who have passed the recognition members feel they need.

[Karen]

As far as I know we have not changed the rules. We don't want any name calling by anyone, and I have spoken to people, and had them edit posts when I have noticed it. I do sometimes delete threads, and PM everyone who posted in it as a courtesy.

Be sure to contact me - anyone should contact me if they notice any name-calling between members. If a post upsets anyone, they can always contact me and I will do my best to ameliorate the situation.

We love you, and you are a valued member of Pet Talk. The Cat General forum always welcomes Eddie's and Edwina's posts, as well as yours. Edwina certainly has better fashion sense than I do, that's for sure.

[Barbara]

I am very sorry that it has come that far. I normally do not go into the doghouse for two reasons:
There are many discussions in a style of which I totally disapprove.
There are many informations about abused pets etc. that I do not want to have.
I know a lot about many problems of the world. There are even areas in which I try to help with solving them. But I chose Pet Talk to be for me a haven of fun, smart fun, laughter and love for pets, especially cats - not a part of problems and solving them. (Which of course will make me stay out of lots of threads )
Without you, Pet Talk will have lost a little of its fun and its intelligence.
But for me nothing will change because you'll be my friend and I can enjoy your fun and intelligence whenever I want (and whenever the 9 hr time difference allows it)
Lucky me

[Alysser]

I have deleted many of my posts and many of my threads. I hope to be able to save some of the ones that were so fun. I feel uncomfortable with the new rules. I feel somehow exposed with my threads and posts available to the new rules. No, I am not doing one of those dramatic "I'm leaving..." That would be silly. I am sorry for Karen and Paul. They work so hard. But time and all things change. So I'll sit back and wait for the next change. It should be interesting.

"Be the change you want to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi


Okay, I'll cut straight to the point. I haven't noticed problems until yesterday, because for me, well I ignore the threads I see starting controvrersy most of the time. If you feel PT needs to change, you need to start doing the same things as well. Personally, I don't really know you and I have no idea if you were associated with any of the fights. PT can still be a fun place if you IGNORE the attention - getters and the ones that want to pick fights. Don't let the fights start. In this case, "the world" is PT. WE all need to start making a change.

Just my suggestions. I can eleborate more later.

[happylabs]

Wow, I guess I am just totally out of the loop here. I've only been an active member for less than a year I guess it is. I didn't realize these things were going on.

I am basically a happy-go-lucky sort. If I see something that upsets me I will generally just stay away from it.

I have always thought of PT as a wonderful, happy place full of members who truly love and care for their animals and others as well.

I hope this gets worked out. Hugs to all and especially Karen and Paul!

[pomtzu]

Remember the old Bible verse? ----------- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

You have to give respect to get respect.

And this post is not directed to anyone in particular. Just thought it might be a nice thing for all to practice - yes - me included

[Pinot's Mom]

ES,
I was the originator of the Corinna memorial thread; I saw your post, which included references to other members who had gone, and I didn't have a problem with it. I also didn't see any adverse responses, but maybe they were gone before I saw them. Remembrances of those gone before is a matter of respect and caring; shouldn't be taken any other way.

As far as the fighting in posts - yes, it has gotten mean. I avoid many of the threads in the dog house for that reason, but, as I've said elsewhere, it is the nature of the beast. You put out controversial topics, you're going to get some "disagreements" that turn ugly, unfortunately. I do not comment on these threads for many reasons, not the least of which is that I'll probably be called out, and I am one who DOES back down from a fight. I don't like fights.

I, too, enjoy your posts in the Cat section and have a good time with Edwina and Eddie on the Catmobile trips! . That's where I'm most comfortable, and it's what I love about PT - the Cat sections and Thursdays, mostly, as well as the people I've met (virtually and in reality). I do venture elsewhere, but only pleasant places. It may sound a bit Pollyanna - ish, but I deal with enough controversy in day to day life. I don't come here for it.

I'm looking forward to chatting with you, among others, in the days to come. I hope you feel the same.

Maggie

[Randi]

Sara, I too am very sorry it has come to this. Some of the names you have been called are simply out of line! If you leave, PT will have lost a fun and intelligent poster.

The good spirit we had ealier is rapidly disappearing and what a shame! I know for a fact that some have left, or have stopped posting because of all this bickering. Some just don’t feel comfortable here anymore. I can see why Karen and Paul don’t want new members to view Dog House before they join.

We have the Dog House to discuss controversial subjects, and when we do, we could at least try to keep a civil tone - yes, I realise I have been a bit harsh myself a few times, but we all have our bad days. I really don’t get why Sara is attacked for her opinions almost every time she posts in the Dog house. It’s just not fair!

Also, I do find some topics rather odd to be posted on PT, it is a forum for pet lovers, after all!

[gini]

I don't think Sara mentioned that she was leaving - but if she did - I live within driving distance of her home and she would get a visit from me.

We have a history - I have been one who has enjoyed her home and guest bed and hospitality. She has also washed clothes at my home (Catland).

As for calling her names - well The Best comes to mind.

These are very tough times for many people and being just a tad kinder would be a good thing for all of us.

This is a wonderful forum and it should be fun as well as informative, helpful and compassionate.

[lizbud]

maybe after your remeberance post not being welcomed you could have started a new thread for those you wished to remember outside of the thread dedicated to one person

I know that is not the POINT... but things change... life goes around ... and starting a new thread for this one thing could have given those who have passed the recognition members feel they need.

I am wondering why you had to post something critical of Sara? You seem
to be implying that your way is the one right way.

[pomtzu]

I am wondering why you had to post something critical of Sara? You seem
to be implying that your way is the one right way.

Oh for Pete's sake - just drop it.

Frankly - I didn't find anything critical after reading it over and over - looking for what was critical.

[Edwina's Secretary]

maybe after your remeberance post not being welcomed you could have started a new thread for those you wished to remember outside of the thread dedicated to one person

I know that is not the POINT... but things change... life goes around ... and starting a new thread for this one thing could have given those who have passed the recognition members feel they need.

If you know it is not the point, it would be best not to post it.

[sparks19]

I am wondering why you had to post something critical of Sara? You seem
to be implying that your way is the one right way.

uh? what?

I didn't post anything critical. it was simply an idea to give the members who had passed the recognition she feels they needed. I personally don't know who any of them are other than corrina and I'm sure lots of others are in the same boat. so a new thread when she felt her post needed to be deleted would honor those people and let those of us who didn't have the pleasure to know them personally the opportunity to discover these people that are gone but still remembered.

not sure what was considered "my way" I just thought it would be a nice idea so those people could get the memorial they deserve.

I did not post in the corrina thread as I really don't have words to express . I remember that time like it was yesterday and that was a very bittersweet card swap that year

[JenBKR]

Wow....I haven't really been around PT too much lately, not really for any reason, just been busy. But I am really sorry to see that it has come to this. I looked at the Corrina post, but the offending posts must have been deleted. Sara, you and I have had a few disagreements on here I think - nothing major. We may not always agree, but I respect and like you, and I am really sad that you are deleting posts. Sometimes it's hard when there are so many different opinions on any given subject, but we should all try to respect the opinions of others (myself included - it's not always easy!).