Kitty Aboose! Need Legal Help!

[Barbara]

Hi Pinot my friend. While I support all of your actions I must admit that things are very good here now. I am a single cat now, you know and for some reasons that has improved the service a lot.
If there really are problems I recommend the following (I appreciate Groucho's lawyer skills- but why not try first in a friendly way):
Just go to your human's bed at 2 pm. You may want to stand aon their brest and purr up a Storm.
Second step: If they do not listen sit down close by their face and pat their eyelids. You may add a single claw (tenderly please if needed,
Third step (I never had to go further than that): Get on the nightstand and throw down paw by paw what's on there- meowmie's ring, the alarm clock- then begin to push the lamp.
My daddy will know by then I'm really hungry
Yours in crime
Filou

[catmandu]

Hi Pinot this is Tubster Panther!
When I want something to eat I find that landing near but not on Dad makes him nove toward the dinner plate!!
But I am 22 Pounds so I make a good thud!!!

Good Luck with Your Meeowmie!!

[Edwina's Secretary]

Dear Pinot,

I was working on a technique I am perfecting this morning. Let me share it with you...

Wait until your purrson is lying on her back. Jump on the bladder. Now here is the good part...back feet on bladder area...weight on back feet launch forward and make bisquits on the throat area. Be sure and hit that boney area.

Back to full weight on the bladder.

Repeat a few times.

If you still need more...remain on the bladder area but try various different position...constantly moving about. Maybe even lift a leg to clean that really hard to reach spot. This concentrates the pressure if done correctly.

My breakfast tuna was very good.

Effectively,

Edwina

[sirrahbed]

sirrahkitties here - we are NOT allowed to read here because our mom says we might get ideas... quick!!! wut is wet food??? we are conf/////////////////////////////

[Pinot's Mom]

Thank you all for your ideas! I'll look forward to trying some now that my purrents FINALLY came home!! I've tried the knocking the lamp off the bedside table trick, that one is pretty effective!

Groucho came by this weekend to make sure I didn't starve; he managed to smuggle in some good stuff. He had to hide when Vicky the catsitter came in, though, or she'd get suspicous. We discussed the class action suit - he'll have to make more visits to gather evidence from the other kitties. Don't worry, kitties, we'll get these hoomins in line!

[momcat]

All I can say to our kitties is to read the post from the puppy dogs about the boarding shelters. It's a great reality check. But I digress.....

Groucho got home from Pinot's a short while ago so full of fried chicken and crab legs he barely touched his food dish. While not providing any specifics, Groucho said there is much to do. He is on his cell phone with a few of his cohorts from Cat Court trying to figure out the best way to proceed. All I know so far is there will be a meeting with two of the judges to discuss the pros and cons of a class action. Fellow purrents, I'll let you know what I hear.
But I think the cause is quite clear..... In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods, cats have never forgotten this!

[slick]

My HUmAn dIdN't GeT HOmE UnTiL 9:00pM ToNigHt!!!!!!! I Wuz StArvInG!!!! AlL ShE GaVe Me WuZ ONe LiTTLe HeLpInG oF Wet Fud An NoW She"s On Da Puter........

I NeEd HeLp..............

StArVInGlY YoURs
MAx

[Pinot's Mom]

sirrahkitties here - we are NOT allowed to read here because our mom says we might get ideas... quick!!! wut is wet food??? we are conf/////////////////////////////

I think there's a problem here! Sirrahkitties are being censored!! ...and they don't know what WET FOOD is??? Horrors!

Poor Max! 9pm! Definite aboose....you've got to be part of the class action!

Note to Edwina: I tried a different approach and LAUNCHED from the bladder area - it works rather well, too!

Talk to you all soon! Pinot

[catmandu]

Thats terrible Max!
If Our Dad comes home late , he ALWAYS brings us home a Kitty Bag!

Last time it was Chicken Breasts!!!
We wish we could air mail you some Max , you are a Good Senior Kittyzen!!

[momcat]

Max, call me or send me an e-mail right away. I have to ask you a few more questions so we can start investigating your situation.

Your friend,
Groucho the Lawyer
Practice Limited to Kitty Krimes and Aboose