Kitty Aboose! Need Legal Help!

**phesina** · 10-17-2009, 07:37 AM

Class action! Class action!!!

Sydney

**momcat** · 10-17-2009, 07:00 PM

Dear Fellow Kitties,

The many responses to Pinot's message are extremely disturbing and please be assured that, as a kitty lawyer, I am deeply concerned. I hear your meows, something must be done immediately if not sooner!!!

Poor Pinot is starving...

Eddie and Edwina are locked in a room alone. Not only that, they're left with minimal provisions plus must endure frightening noise to their sensitive ears. Another scary thought here, with the holiday season rapidly approaching is our exquisite fashionista Lady Edwina cut off from the tools of her trade? So many of you lovely girl kitties depend on Lady Edwina's expert lead and advice...

Max, call me on my cell phone ASAP! I'll take your case pro-bono...

A Class Action lawsuit does appear to be in order. To all of you that want to join a class action suit, please contact me right away. I'll meet with some of my kitty lawyer friends at Cat Court so we can see exactly where we stand.

Your friend,
Groucho the Lawyer
Practice Limited to Kitty Krimes and Aboose

**pomtzu** · 10-17-2009, 07:06 PM

Ahem - may we have the attention of all cats here please???

Myndi and Sparky (the dogs) here, to give all you kitties a different perspective, especially you Miss Pinot!

Hey there girl - you got to stay home and have the run of the house all to yourself this weekend. How bad can that be - huh?? Mom has told us of a place called a boarding kennel, and some cats and dogs have to go there when their hoomans go away. We've never been to one of these places, but Mom says they put you in a cage, and feed you food that you aren't accustomed to and at times you're not accustomed to either. If you're lucky, you might get a pat on the head, but don't expect too much more. And there's lots of other cats and dogs there too - so forget having any privacy. And oh - all that barking at all hours of the day and night - never a minute of peace.

At least you have someone to come to your house to take care of you. Mom also told us that she knows of some hoomans leaving their cats home by themselves for a few days. Oh - they don't go hungry or anything, since they are left lots and lots of kibble and water. However, that indoor kitty toilet gets pretty darn full and smelly by the time the hoomans get back home, and there's no one to cuddle with, or to meow to either.

So before any of you think about taking legal action here, remember how lucky you are. The tables might turn and you could all be charged with meewtiny.

Carry on kitties...............

**Barbara** · 10-18-2009, 11:24 AM

Hi Pinot my friend. While I support all of your actions I must admit that things are very good here now. I am a single cat now, you know and for some reasons that has improved the service a lot.
If there really are problems I recommend the following (I appreciate Groucho's lawyer skills- but why not try first in a friendly way):
Just go to your human's bed at 2 pm. You may want to stand aon their brest and purr up a Storm.
Second step: If they do not listen sit down close by their face and pat their eyelids. You may add a single claw (tenderly please

if needed,
Third step (I never had to go further than that): Get on the nightstand and throw down paw by paw what's on there- meowmie's ring, the alarm clock- then begin to push the lamp.
My daddy will know by then I'm really hungry

Yours in crime
Filou

**catmandu** · 10-18-2009, 11:49 AM

Hi Pinot this is Tubster Panther!
When I want something to eat I find that landing near but not on Dad makes him nove toward the dinner plate!!
But I am 22 Pounds so I make a good thud!!!

Good Luck with Your Meeowmie!!

**Edwina's Secretary** · 10-18-2009, 12:11 PM

Dear Pinot,

I was working on a technique I am perfecting this morning. Let me share it with you...

Wait until your purrson is lying on her back. Jump on the bladder. Now here is the good part...back feet on bladder area...weight on back feet launch forward and make bisquits on the throat area. Be sure and hit that boney area.

Back to full weight on the bladder.

Repeat a few times.

If you still need more...remain on the bladder area but try various different position...constantly moving about. Maybe even lift a leg to clean that really hard to reach spot. This concentrates the pressure if done correctly.

My breakfast tuna was very good.

Effectively,

Edwina

**sirrahbed** · 10-18-2009, 01:17 PM

sirrahkitties here - we are NOT allowed to read here because our mom says we might get ideas... quick!!! wut is wet food??? we are conf/////////////////////////////

**Pinot's Mom** · 10-18-2009, 08:04 PM

Thank you all for your ideas! I'll look forward to trying some now that my purrents FINALLY came home!! I've tried the knocking the lamp off the bedside table trick, that one is pretty effective!

Groucho came by this weekend to make sure I didn't starve; he managed to smuggle in some good stuff. He had to hide when Vicky the catsitter came in, though, or she'd get suspicous. We discussed the class action suit - he'll have to make more visits to gather evidence from the other kitties. Don't worry, kitties, we'll get these hoomins in line!

**Pinot's Mom** · 10-19-2009, 08:13 AM

Originally Posted by sirrahbed

sirrahkitties here - we are NOT allowed to read here because our mom says we might get ideas... quick!!! wut is wet food??? we are conf/////////////////////////////

I think there's a problem here! Sirrahkitties are being censored!!

...and they don't know what WET FOOD is??? Horrors!

Poor Max! 9pm! Definite aboose....you've got to be part of the class action!

Note to Edwina: I tried a different approach and LAUNCHED from the bladder area

- it works rather well, too!

Talk to you all soon! Pinot