Candace, this has me concerned on several levels and perhaps I should keep my mouth shut but since you felt ok w/posting your back-and-forth emails to each other, I feel ok w/commenting.

He told you to stop contacting all his friends and family members yet it's ok for him to get angry and disappear for a few days? If he needs to work some things out, as he stated, then he should've said that BEFORE he left, not after.

Owing money is never good. Makes me very nervous. Not signing the check? Makes me equally as nervous.

You asking if you should not change the lock on the door: not an option I'd give someone who first ran roughshod over your feelings, then totally disregarded them, then scolded you for contacting people because you were worried about him.

Gambling? Yes, I know he's in a program and people do backslide. I'm not judging, just saying that if you're sharing money and/or expenses, you could find yourself in the poor house very quickly and judging from his previous responses to you, he's liable to turn it on you saying that you knew all along that he had a gambling problem.

Candace, I know only too well what it's like to be in a relationship w/someone who has addiction problems. This isn't a judgment of Norm; I'm not that smug, but my antennae went up and stayed up when you first said he was missing in action and he seems awfully callous in regards to your feelings in all this. I care about you, even though we've never met in person. I know that you have a good heart. I just hope and pray that you're not an easy mark. Please take this post in the spirit in which it was written, w/love. I didn't PM you because you've bared your soul for everyone to see and this situation is more or less an open book, so I apologize in advance if you had preferred that I had PM'd you instead. I guess I'm hoping that others will concur w/what I said.