What do you do when someone won't accept a gift?

**Freedom** · 07-30-2009, 09:28 PM

A few thoughts to consider:

1. I don't know what any ethics code is for vets. For attorneys, there are limits to what can be accepted as gifts from clients.

2. When I was working in banking, we had strict policies on what we could accept as gifts from clients and what we had to decline.* Now she is working for herself, but she has to set some limits, set some guidelines, for herself and for her soon to be staff. Perhaps you have gone over them.

* To give you and idea: VP's could not accept anything worth more than $25. Executive VP's could not accept anything more than $35. Lower levels were limited to $20. My point here is, for professions which have limits, they are quite low!

3. While YOU consider this a thank you / best wishes for the new practice, she may worry you expect more in the way of after hours service, pricing breaks, payment arrangements, and so forth. And what she has been able to do in the past may not be on offer in the future if she has start up debt as a part of her new over head.

4. You mentioned Staples. Not every office uses them. There ARE other supply companies, lol. W. B. Mason comes to mind as one of many.

I suggest you graciously accept that for now, this is not something you can do. Send her a lovely card for her opening. Once the office is open, consider one of the other ideas on offer, like lunch for the office one day. But I wouldn't suggest tucking this in the card; she has already made it clear this is beyond some limits she is / or feels obligated to comply with. She is trying to do what she believes is the professional thing. Please try to respect that.

Trying to open a new business is worry enough, lol, don't give her more worries just now! You will have many opportunities in the future to deliver something.

**Karen** · 07-30-2009, 10:56 PM

I have an idea:

Make her a gift she can hang in the office - whether it's a posterboard covered with cat footprints (non-toxic paint, of course) and says "We love Dr. SoandSo!" and some human-drawn hearts, or a collage of cat pictures of kitties she has treated with that message nicely printed in the middle - something she can hang in her new place, to let new people know she's got lots of happy clients who love her already.

**RICHARD** · 07-30-2009, 11:05 PM

Anonymous donations!!!!!- No WORRIES!

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Be patient. She may grab all the things she thinks she needs. By that time?

I like Karen's idea? A step further?

Find a trophy shop and get a 'gag' plaque. World's Best Vet! Something a little fun that states a nice thought.

Think off the beaten trail!

**carole** · 07-30-2009, 11:39 PM

I think you have to respect her wishes, it may well be an ethical thing, and she may feel obligated to you as pointed out before, and it seems it makes her uncomfortable, i think some of the ideas here are great and would be better appreciated than a cash gift,or maybe you could offer to donate some time, in helping her set up her practice, a nice bunch of flowers on opening day and a nice card from the furbabies, i think the best gift you can give her , is to pass on to all your friends and family just what a great vet she is.

**Sonia59** · 07-31-2009, 02:42 AM

The first time I made a donation to the shelter I was helping, they said that I did not have to because I was already volunteering socializing the kitties and it was a great help, but they needed money so they accepted it.

Perhaps your vet has other reasons that she can't tell you. If she really believes it's too much, may be it's because she knows she would be able to set up her pratice without your gift and she prefers that you give it to someone else? I would accept her choice (it's just my opinion of course)

**sirrahbed** · 07-31-2009, 06:36 AM

I have to agree with those who suggest you respect her wishes. I love Karen's idea of buying or making something for the office though - some little thing to display that shows that she has appreciative clients. At my vet, there is a very cute crosstitch picture of kitties that hangs in one of the exam rooms - and it always makes me smile because it refers to the "catdad" side of him

Jen you are very sweet to want to help her - but I really feel that it would be awkward in a professional relationship. I bet you could come up with something cute from the gang.