I'm with you, kb2yjx! My boyfriend's son has cats, and they are never allowed on the furniture or in the bed, etc... He always remarks that both of us let our cats on the sofa, bed, etc.... We always tell him, this isn't your house, you don't live here, and we let YOU sit on the furniture! Why on earth would we not allow the cats, who live here, to do the same? I would ask the SIL to respect the kitty's wishes. She lives there, he doesn't. Him bringing her treats and toys may warm her up, but I doubt it. Once you get on a cat's bad side, that's usually it!