Explaining death to a child

[luckies4me]

Thank you all for your suggestions. I still haven't had the heart to sit him down yet. Perhaps it is I that is more scared to talk about it, rather than me freightening my son. It's just a very difficult thing for me to deal with, as some of you know my father means everything to me.

He has since been moved into a care facility, and it is very nice. His doctor says he is doing a bit better, but again, you just never know.

Does anyone know if a DNR order is valid outside of the hospital? For instance, if something happens at the nursing center, will they withhold emergency treatment should he have a heart attack or something?

[Karen]

Thank you all for your suggestions. I still haven't had the heart to sit him down yet. Perhaps it is I that is more scared to talk about it, rather than me freightening my son. It's just a very difficult thing for me to deal with, as some of you know my father means everything to me.

He has since been moved into a care facility, and it is very nice. His doctor says he is doing a bit better, but again, you just never know.

Does anyone know if a DNR order is valid outside of the hospital? For instance, if something happens at the nursing center, will they withhold emergency treatment should he have a heart attack or something?

Yes, if he has a DNR, the nursing center should have a copy of that in his medical records. If that is his wish, you should just doublecheck with them that they have it.

When Aunt Bertha moved into a nursing home, she asked about her DNR. She said, "If I am outside and get hit by a car, what happens?" They said "Of course, we would try to help you as best we could." So she understood that, if for example, she had a heart attack, they'd abide by the DNR, as was her intention, but would help her if other things happened. That is what she wanted, and that is how it happened. She eventually passed away from heart failure, very peacefully, no tubes or machines or anyone pounding on her chest.

Don't delay, Cass, have that conversation with Dylan today. With all the highly publicized deaths in the news, it is a good time to discuss the topic in general, even if you cannot bring yourself to mention your Dad.

[luckies4me]

You know, you have a very good point. He woke up this morning and during breakfast asked me if I had heard that Michael Jackson died. Kids pay attention more than most people would like to think!

Maybe I will do it tonight before bed, or is that not a good idea? I'm nervous.

[Karen]

That would be a perfectly appropriate time, it will let him think about it during the quiet time as he is settling down to sleep.

[luckies4me]

I can't believe I have to do this. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks for your help!