My dad, my grandkids great-grandfather died about a month ago. Christy and I sat down the Jasmine who is 5 and Dominic who is almost 3 and told them he had died and now was in heaven with my son, Rob. Dominic at not yet 3 had no idea of what we were talking about. Jasmine started to cry right away which made both Christy and me cry. But she had seen him in the hospital and knew he was sick and we explained how sick he really was and how he was no longer in pain. We told her how he was in heaven now with God and Rob. We told her now he could walk steadily again, breath better again. Since we have talked to her since she was little about death (Rob died when she was 18 months) and she has lived here when we had to put two of our dogs down she seemed to come to her own acceptance about her pa-pas death. She also goes to Sunday School and knows that Jesus died and went to heaven so she also brought up that he was now with Jesus. And told her how happy Rob was to see him and she said that Oreo and Snoopy were very glad to see him too.

We took both kids to visitation. We decided to let them decide what they wanted to do. At first they looked at the casket from a distance. Then slowly they went up and we talked to them about how he looked (like he was sleeping). Kids are very surprising in what they say when you don't make things too complicated but let them ask you questions. Jasmine was more interested in the casket than papa. What a pretty white pillow he was laying on. When different friends would come in they would go up to the casket with us and very respectfully look and listen.

My sister's grand daughter is 8 and spent a lot of time with my parents since she lived in the same town as they did. They were not going to take her to the viewing or the funeral because she has such an active imagination. A counselor friend of ours said that is all the more reason to take her. That her imagination could take her all kinds of places. The reality isn't as bad as their imaginations could be. She also took it all very well.

Only you know your son and his sensitivity. I think I would explain to him about his grandpas death and about God and heaven. I would explain to him what he would see (Grandpa in a casket). But for him the important thing would be to arrange for him to go before visiting hours start so he is alone with you and can cry (crying is good, it is okay to miss him) and ask questions. In case he does not do well with it, be sure you have someone who can take him home and be with him. Most funeral homes have areas for the family and things for the kids to do (TVs with DVD's, coloring books, toys)- he can be at the funeral home close to you but not so close that he has to see Grandpa all the time.

God Bless you no matter what you decide. My thoughts and prayers were with you.