I had wanted to respond earlier, but I didn't really know what to say. I lost my Grandma a year ago. I lived with her, and one day I came home from school and the paper was still in the mailbox, and I knew something was wrong.. I thought she had fallen but when I went upstairs I couldn't wake her up. I felt a lot of guilt - like I should have known and I should have been able to help or something.. I still feel guilty about it. I'm really sorry you weren't there to say goodbye, but I think he knows. He knows how much you love him and I'm sure he didn't hold it against you that you weren't there.. he's at rest now and his legacy will live on in you and your family.

I'm very sorry about your loss, and I hope that with time the pain isn't as raw. For me, remembering Nan's funny stories was a big help.. when I sit with my family and reminise (I don't know if I spelled that right) it's like she never really left.

I hope you are feeling better,
Naomi

((((hugs))))