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How To Tell if Your Family is Too Military
1. Your wife's two favorite shades of lipstick are light green and loam.
2. You go to a barbecue and insist that your family feed in a tactical chow line at five meter intervals.
3. Before you hit the road on vacation you conduct rehearsals, backbriefs, PCI, and cover your convoy checklist.
4. Your children clear their PLCC card before they go to college.
5. Your wife has more jumps than most LTs in the company.
6. Your kids call the yard their AOR.
7. Your kids call their mother "9er Domestic."
8. Your doorbell sounds off with the current challenge and password.
9. You give the command "Fix Bayonets" at Thanksgiving Dinner.
10. Your kids show their meal cards at the kitchen door, except the oldest, who is on separate rations.
11. You make your daughter sign out on pass on Prom Night.
12. You do your "back to school" shopping at the Army Surplus.
13. Your kids call the tooth fairy "Slicky Boy."
14. Your son fails the third grade but tells everyone he was a "phase three recycle."
15. Your wife's "high-n-tight" is more squared away than your commander's.
16. Your kids walk to school using field formations.
17. Your kids understand, and use, tactical hand signals in public.
18. Your family drives a POMV.
19. You don't have a wife and kids. They are all dependents.
20. Kit inspections before deploying to the unit battle position for the conduct defensive ops (camping).
21. Your kids jack up the troops for not executing a proper salute with a good cut.
22. Your kids know the time. 1 - 1 - 2!
23. Your kids (even the five year old) can break down and clean a .45 blindfolded.
24. And it was your wife who taught them how to do it.
25. Your kids don't cut school, they go on SERE exercises.
26. When your kids got together to beat the hell out of the school bully it wasn't a conspiracy, it was a problem.
27. Your kids know that their school is 1,723 metres from your front door and they know how many clicks they'll need on a 120mm mortar to drop a round on the principals car, but your eight year old daughter thinks the 81mm mortar is 'prettier' and makes a stink about it.
28. Your kids always check their six.
29. Your wife takes a knee and lights up while in line at the Walmart with a regulation lighter.
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Originally Posted by Catty1
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