The frustrations of needy, clingy men!!

[Catty1]

My bad...I must have left my brain in the car!

[jennielynn1970]

Ugh... ok, so I can't even be "just" friendly. I tried. The overly needy and clingy just gets worse. Should have just removed myself from the get go. He's a nice guy, he just needs to get more self assured.

[Karen]

Here is a direct link to the study to which Catty1 is referring
http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/37/3/22

[kitten645]

I am a firm believer in first impressions. If he creeped you out in this early stage, it will only get worse. No matter WHAT he says. It reminds me of that 'Oh honey I love you so much. Please change!" joke. That's who he is. Get away from him.
Claudia

[sumbirdy]

He seems like he has a big self-esteem problem, and because of that he's probably controlling. Does he want to know where you are all the time? If not, I can see that one coming next. I'd steer WAY clear of him. I met a guy online once that sounds like this. He all but proposed to me after a week, and we had never actually met, there wasn't even a date set to do that! It scared the heck out of me. I say run for the hills! Don't ever look back, this guy sounds creepy.

[jennielynn1970]

Not just steering clear, but gone!!

I tried to be nice. That's just me. Nice just didn't work. It just made it worse. He was "in love" with me!! Ummm... you don't know me!!! Seriously, wft?! That and he "didn't like" my guy friends. Did you know them?? Did you ever meet them?? NO... so back off buddy. SCARY DUDE!!!!

So much for trying to be nice and be friendly. It's not worth it in this case. He is now blocked and removed from accounts as friends, etc...

[Medusa]

Not just steering clear, but gone!! He is now blocked and removed from accounts as friends, etc...

Good! You're too good for all that nonsense, girlfriend.

[Catlady711]

Not just steering clear, but gone!!

I tried to be nice. That's just me. Nice just didn't work. It just made it worse. He was "in love" with me!! Ummm... you don't know me!!! Seriously, wft?! That and he "didn't like" my guy friends. Did you know them?? Did you ever meet them?? NO... so back off buddy. SCARY DUDE!!!!

So much for trying to be nice and be friendly. It's not worth it in this case. He is now blocked and removed from accounts as friends, etc...

You gave him your phone number right? Does he also have your address and know where you work/shop? It definately sounds like stalking behaviour starting. That is very scary. If anything out of the ordinary starts going on, please do not hesitate for a minute to contact the police. If you have any copies of emails, phone messages, or things like that keep them for evidence. Hopefully you'll never need them and this guy will just go away without any more problems.

http://www.wiredsafety.org/cyberstal...kingstudy.html


http://www.bullyonline.org/related/stalking.htm
Warning signs
These are the signs to be alert to:

expects you to spend all of your time with him/her or inform him/her of your whereabouts

refuses to accept "no" for an answer

isolates you from your friends and/or family

puts you down in front of your family or friends

sends frequent unsolicited or unwelcome gifts

makes offers of unsolicited help

excessive niceness in the early stages

use of guilt to manipulate your feelings or to force you into courses of action you feel unhappy with

extreme jealousy

frequent loss of temper

abuse of alcohol and/or drugs

following you wherever you go

threats

physical or verbal abuse

damage or destruction to your property

talks about violence or is fascinated with themes of violence

makes your family or friends feel scared or uneasy

[jennielynn1970]

Thank you, Catlady711. I don't think he'll get to that point. He hasn't called me, and I don't think he'll try to follow me as he's still disabled from a fall that he had a few years ago (he uses a walker at times), although I'm sure if he wanted to he could find ways to find me. I just don't see it happening. If I do, he'll be reported to the police ASAP.

[Catlady711]

If I do, he'll be reported to the police ASAP.

Good. Hopefully there will be no need, but glad to know you will if anything creepy starts going on.

[Husky_mom]

Boy, Am I glad there aren't any FEMALE stalkers.

LOL... or so you wanna think.. LOL


creepy guy.. glad you ditched him... hope he gets it this time... sorry for him but being like that only drew you away... if he wants friends he needs to change... big time... otherwise he´ll stay as he is...


blue: that was exactly the song I had on my mind when I started reading this... haha...

[carole]

Well look like he showed his true colours, remember also he might never have actually had that fall and be partially paralyzed, it could all be rubbish, you can be who ever you want on the internet,glad you ditched him, he sounded like a nightmare about to happen, take care and be sooo....careful, but good luck.

[Marigold2]

My one son was dating a stalker girl. Talk about scary. Very very low self esteem, extremely clingly. Bossy, know it all, very competative. She would show up at odd hours and just not leave. She would follow me from room to room talking, talking, never shutting up. I came down one morning and she popped up out of my sofa, she spent the night there. I was like, what the hell, why didn't you go home. My son was in his room with the door closed, she was on the sofa, it was so strange. I finally told my son that she was never ever ever ever going to be welcomed in my home again and if she set foot on my property I would call the police. Did that matter to her, not in the least. At my Christmas party she parked her car outside my house and sat there for 45 minutes while guests came. She was on the phone with my son, crying begging him to let her in and how mean and horrible I was. My son was so upset. I finally said to him,"look I told you months ago she would never be welcomed here and this is our Christmas she is NOT welcome. She just refused to leave. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore. It was horrible, I had 50 people in my house it was our Christmas party and this insane stalker wouldn't leave. I went into the garage and grabbed a bat, my intention was to smash her windshield with it and scare her. My husband said I would be arrested, I said I didn't care, it would be worth it. My one son went outside and told her what I was planning on doing. She left. Did that stop her NO. She showed up and my son's college graduation, it's a public place not much you can do. I finally made it clear to her that if she ever came near my home again I would hurt her. Finally she left, but only with the fear of extreme violence against her. No restraining order will stop these crazy people, they don't obey the law. The only thing she understood at that point was that I would hurt her. Your read about these people on TV stalking, breaking into houses, killing ex-lovers. The only thing they understand is how to dominate with fear, luckly I put a greater fear into her and now she married some poor fool. God help him and his famiy. It's funny how fear will make you angry and strong. There was no way I wa going to let her hurt us any more.

[Catlady711]

My one son was dating a stalker girl. Talk about scary. Very very low self esteem, extremely clingly. Bossy, know it all, very competative. She would show up at odd hours and just not leave. She would follow me from room to room talking, talking, never shutting up. I came down one morning and she popped up out of my sofa, she spent the night there. I was like, what the hell, why didn't you go home. My son was in his room with the door closed, she was on the sofa, it was so strange. I finally told my son that she was never ever ever ever going to be welcomed in my home again and if she set foot on my property I would call the police. Did that matter to her, not in the least. At my Christmas party she parked her car outside my house and sat there for 45 minutes while guests came. She was on the phone with my son, crying begging him to let her in and how mean and horrible I was. My son was so upset. I finally said to him,"look I told you months ago she would never be welcomed here and this is our Christmas she is NOT welcome. She just refused to leave. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore. It was horrible, I had 50 people in my house it was our Christmas party and this insane stalker wouldn't leave. I went into the garage and grabbed a bat, my intention was to smash her windshield with it and scare her. My husband said I would be arrested, I said I didn't care, it would be worth it. My one son went outside and told her what I was planning on doing. She left. Did that stop her NO. She showed up and my son's college graduation, it's a public place not much you can do. I finally made it clear to her that if she ever came near my home again I would hurt her. Finally she left, but only with the fear of extreme violence against her. No restraining order will stop these crazy people, they don't obey the law. The only thing she understood at that point was that I would hurt her. Your read about these people on TV stalking, breaking into houses, killing ex-lovers. The only thing they understand is how to dominate with fear, luckly I put a greater fear into her and now she married some poor fool. God help him and his famiy. It's funny how fear will make you angry and strong. There was no way I wa going to let her hurt us any more.

And people wonder why I'm overly cautious about what information I'll give online.

So sorry to hear something like that happened to your family. While stuff like that is fairly uncommon, it's becoming more of a problem, and I'll stand by my stance of limited info available about me online.

[Medusa]

My one son was dating a stalker girl. Talk about scary. Very very low self esteem, extremely clingly. Bossy, know it all, very competative. She would show up at odd hours and just not leave. She would follow me from room to room talking, talking, never shutting up. I came down one morning and she popped up out of my sofa, she spent the night there. I was like, what the hell, why didn't you go home. My son was in his room with the door closed, she was on the sofa, it was so strange. I finally told my son that she was never ever ever ever going to be welcomed in my home again and if she set foot on my property I would call the police. Did that matter to her, not in the least. At my Christmas party she parked her car outside my house and sat there for 45 minutes while guests came. She was on the phone with my son, crying begging him to let her in and how mean and horrible I was. My son was so upset. I finally said to him,"look I told you months ago she would never be welcomed here and this is our Christmas she is NOT welcome. She just refused to leave. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore. It was horrible, I had 50 people in my house it was our Christmas party and this insane stalker wouldn't leave. I went into the garage and grabbed a bat, my intention was to smash her windshield with it and scare her. My husband said I would be arrested, I said I didn't care, it would be worth it. My one son went outside and told her what I was planning on doing. She left. Did that stop her NO. She showed up and my son's college graduation, it's a public place not much you can do. I finally made it clear to her that if she ever came near my home again I would hurt her. Finally she left, but only with the fear of extreme violence against her. No restraining order will stop these crazy people, they don't obey the law. The only thing she understood at that point was that I would hurt her. Your read about these people on TV stalking, breaking into houses, killing ex-lovers. The only thing they understand is how to dominate with fear, luckly I put a greater fear into her and now she married some poor fool. God help him and his famiy. It's funny how fear will make you angry and strong. There was no way I wa going to let her hurt us any more.

You didn't mention whether or not they met online. Did they?