I am so sorry for your great loss. I understand. Lost my mom 15 years ago this Sept. Time is a great healer. It is really the only thing when you lose someone so close to you. I think it's harder then losing a spouse, people get remarried all the time but a parent can not be replaced. All these feelings you are having confusion, loss, being alone, scared, helpless are all normal. One painful thing for me is that I never recieved another birthday card or gift from my mom. Not that I wanted a gift but those little things, like a plant or a book just little things. She would bring donuts when she visited or maybe some oranges. I miss her cards a lot, miss going out to lunch, and the phone calls, God how I miss those.
But again, time is the healer. Be kind, be patient to yourself. Cry, cry and cry some more. Weeks, months will pass and you will be ok and then something will remind you of your mom and in the middle of the grocery store you will start crying, sobbing and have to leave or go to the bathroom. 15 years and it still happens to me but not as much. Now I see it differently. I know how loved and blessed I was having my mom.
Only had her for 34 years but the love I had from her was more then others have had from their moms in 100 years or never. She must have told me she loved me one billion 97 million times at least. I have two friends whos mom never told them that. Blessings to you. May time move quickly to heal your pain and may many happy memories be with you always.