Quote Originally Posted by jenn_librarian View Post
I don't know what to do. I freaked out before I even left. I couldn't get out the door, I couldn't leave the house. I just started hyperventilating, throwing up, my head was just pounding. I was awake most of the night, that didn't help. My ambien didn't do anything to allow me to sleep.

I feel like such a wimp. I'm not a wimp, really I'm not. I just couldn't calm down. I kept getting racing thoughts in my brain and that was just it, it just incapacitated me.

I think part of it is also I miss just having someone here to lean on, just to be an emotional support. I just feel alone. I miss getting that hug, that kiss, before going out the door. If my ex wasn't good for much, he at least did that, lol.
Whenever I start acting like you describe, I generally just try to focus on a single thing or a few things, and allow that to prevail above the other, random thoughts going through my mind. Breathing slow and deep helps too. My mind must work /way/ differently than other people's.

I know how all that feels. Although your panic attacks are probably worse than what I experience, I have asthma, and after long excersise runs, I feel literally like a fish out of water. Somehow, I force myself to concentrate on breathing slow and deep, and the asthma attack stops. Hoping you get better, and if you ever need me, I am /literally/ always in the chat .