I need a huge favor from all of you.

[Karen]

LOL, the squishy test is nothing compared to a prostate test.


You just have to take off you tops, We have bend over and relax!

That reminds - the tech would position my body just so, place my arm where it should go and then say "Now, okay, relax that shoulder ..." The second time she said it I said "The shoulder is not relaxed 'cause it knows this is gonna hurt! I'll hold it down, but "relax" is just not going to happen." She smiled and said, "okay, just move it down, I can live with that."

[jazzcat]

I'm going for my annual squishy and other exam on Monday. When I told my Richard I had an appointment he started singing "Caribbean Gyno" from an SNL Eddie Murphy skit.

I do have to ask, is it really necessary to make them flat as a pancake?

I also want to add that we ladies need to do monthly self exams also. My mother found her tumor herself and even though she and the doctor could feel it the mammogram never showed it.

My 80 year old aunt on my father's side just had a mastectomy two weeks ago. Dad and I went to visit her at the nursing home where she's staying for a few weeks before going home and she's doing well.

[Pam]

but "relax" is just not going to happen."

I love it when you are standing there under the *vise* and she says "now don't move." How in the world could you move? It's not like you can walk out of the room at that point or really even take a deep breath!

[Catty1]

http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgur...%3Den%26sa%3DN


POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM

I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right hereee, strip to the waist, thennnn slip on this gown. Everything clearrrr?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda--try decaf. This ain't rocket science."

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a perfectly healthy cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG in less than 60 seconds. Also, girls aren't made of sugar and spice and everything nice it's Spandex. We can be stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold 4-inch piece of square glass and still pop back into shape.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4" pieces of square glass) when we heard, ssssssssssszzzzzzzzzzz then I felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off! "What?" I yelled.

"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda headed for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy .. the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be righttttt backkkk."

Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass! After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible. "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

"You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said. "Oh I am soooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps........

[kimlovescats]

Richard, what a heartfelt and caring thread! I just discovered that Pam's and your mom both have passed on. I am so very sorry! (((HUGS)))

[phesina]

Thank you, Richard, for this excellent advice that cannot be given too often!!!!!

I can vouch first-hand for the value of regular checkups. Thanks to keeping to them, a malignant breast lump was detected before it had started to spread. I had a mastectomy and needed no further treatment.

This was in 1985. Since then, I've continued as before with a physical twice a year, a mammogram every year, and regular self-exams. And going on 24 years later I'm doing just fine!

So ladies.. when it's squish time, just grin and bear it... Sure, it's uncomfortable but nowhere near so much as, say, chemotherapy is!

As for after I'm gone.. I made a will arranging for my pets to be cared for for the rest of their lives, and then what's left of my estate goes to Best Friends Animal Society and a couple of other organizations doing the kind of good work I want to support.

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Hey Richard, that is the best advize ever!! I wish my hubby was more like you, because he never goes to a doctor unless he has no other choise
Since my BIL died so suddenly last week, I have begged him to go for a general control tests; but no use ;he is 52, and in my opinion this is the perfect time for this!!

I am being a"good girl" though

[RICHARD]

I am checking up on all of you!

I was watching Lance Armstrong racing in Australia (He's coming to do the Tour of California next month and it ends up the street from my house!) and I got very sad.

The announcers were saying that since he announced his retirement the last time that 23 MILLION people have died of cancer.

That made me very sad and for the first time I wondered how things would be different for my family had my mom simply gone for more tests.

Since then, my sister is under going treatment for Breast cancer and my niece was in the hospital for what they thought was an ovarian cyst but turned out to be a twisted intestine!

I was never more happy to hear about someones pain not being related to cancer.

So get off your rear ends and GO GET A CHECKUP!

I don't have the funds to got to each of your homes and kick your arses to make you go do it, so I have to rely on humiliating you!

Thanks again!