I think you have to ask yourself what is the true meaning of xmas to you,honestly if you are struggling financially it seems crazy to go spending so much on such a large family,just because they can afford it.

I think you have to let common sense take over and be practical about it, it is about surviving ,not being able to provide a nice gift to people who probably don't even need it, by the sounds of things.

You have to put yourself and family and furbabies as your top priority, and if anyone takes offense at your idea,then they are being petty and i would not worry too much about it.

If you really feel you need to give gifts, how about making some cookies or fudge ,even that will cost you a bit, but far less than you usually spend.

My sister is well off compared to me and always spends more on my children than i can afford for hers, but she is fine with it,infact this year we are only buying xmas for the younger two, and have stopped for the older ones,because for one all the birthdays are from october on to December and it just gets way out of hand.