Getting over the loss of a child

[jenluckenbach]

Your loss is real, and will take the same amount of grief as any other loss. Work through it, you will in time be able to convey your feelings to your husband. He may never feel it the same way, no two people do, but he will be there for you. But he'll need to know about your feelings (they don't automatically know, you know)
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep in touch with us if you feel that there is no one else to share it with at this time.

[moosmom]

Luckies4me,

I'm so sorry for your loss . I can even begin to imagine what you are going through. The only thing I can suggest is maybe a support group of women who have been through the same thing. It's always good to talk to someone who has the same experience.

Grief doesn't just go away. It takes time. Take as much time as you need to get through it. My heart goes out to you and your family. If there is anything I can do, just holler! You and your baby are in my thoughts and prayers.

[luckies4me]

Here is an update:

Dan arrived home at 5:30 (early for this week) but as soon as he came home he took a nap and I did not want to bother him. I wrapped up my test and put it in a nice box for the baby.

I will try to speak to Dan tomorrow night when we are out to dinner.

[lynnestankard]

So terribly sorry L4M - I'm sending a PM.

Lynne

[Vermontcat]

Hey Luckie,
Good luck with your dinner, maybe wait until dessert to discuss things, he may be happier on a full stomach.
I was going to mention to put that test out of sight for now so it didn't keep reminding you so I am glad that you have put it away in a special place.

[COCatMama]

My gramma had i think five miscarriages and my mom had 2! I have never been pg myself tho. The child you lost is probably just as real to you as if he/she had actually been born, it's true that Time heals all wounds. I disagree with the comments about not comparing your loss with the loss of a treasured pet. I have heard that for some people, the loss of a beloved pet can be just as painful as losing a human loved one, and I believe it.

It's a tragic thing that happened to you, and don't beat yourself up for feeling envious of other pg women!

Here are a couple of message boards for you :
Grief and Loss
TTC

[jackiesdaisy1935]

I am so sorry, this is so sad to read this story, I'm sure in time and maybe at your dinner your husband will come to understand your feelings, different people grieve in different ways. The loss of a baby is so difficult for the mother because she is carrying that baby, but God had other plans for your baby and took her/him back to heaven to be with him and all the other beloved babies who went before. It will take time, but eventually you will understand and get on with your life, but you will never forget this little sweet baby that you had for such a short time. My best wishes to go you.
Jackie, Miss Daisy and Perry

[luckies4me]

Thank you everyone. I think I am going to wait until after dinner to talk. We both are up late anyway and since it's Friday we are up even later. You all are giving me strength I didn't use to have and I appreciate it very much. Thank you all for the kind words. It means a lot to me.

[NoahsMommy]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I do agree that you and hubby should talk...but I also agree on letting the both of you grieve in your own ways... I noticed that "throwing oneself into work" (like your hubby is doing) is a very common form of grief.

Know that we are here for you and are sending prayers your way.

Take care.

[anna_66]

I can't say I know how you feel, I don't, and never will since I'm not able to have children, but I think if something like that ever happened to me, my husband would want me to talk to him. It may be hard at first, but I think it is one of the best things you can do, for the both of you. He probably don't know what to say to you, so if you bring it up, it might make it a little easier.
I will be keeping you & your husband in my thoughts & prayers.
Take care & we're here if you need to talk.
Anna

[Stenograsaurus]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. When I first became pregnant, I had all the signs of a tubal pregnancy. I thought for sure they were going to have to take my baby and I went through days of grieving, so I know a little of what you feel like. I have looked up a few links on infant loss. I hope they can help you. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Here are the links.

http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/pil/index.html

http://www.baby-place.com/miscarriage.htm

[luckies4me]

Ok well I am NOT going to talk about it with im tonight. I will go into more detail later on.


Lets just say that a football games more important than giving me a break and letting me get outside.

[sid n cleo]

i m very sorry to hear that. the only thing i can say is that he or she is in a better place now.