I feel so bad that you can't share your feelings with your spouse - have you talked about it at all with him? Do you know how he's feeling about it? Maybe he doesn't know how to react, either, and is being very quiet about it. There really is no cure for the (psychological) pain other than time. When my mother-in-law lost her husband, I know she found great solace by attending grief counseling classes that were offered by the cemetery where he was interred. She also joined a grief support group of women going through exactly what she was, and they could get together and talk about it. You could check with your local hospital, funeral homes, or cemeteries to get in touch with a grief counselor. (The ones my mother-in-law met with were free of charge.)

Hang in there -