When family attacks/elder care and sibs rant.

[Pam]

Another one of the things that I secretly enjoyed was the scathing remarks she'd make to me in public!

She was getting loud so I walked away from her...later on we had a good laugh about that.

Oh Richard you have me laughing now. This is along the same lines. I always accompanied my mom to her doctor visits. One day we were at the urologist (she had a little bladder problem) and it was just Mom, me and another elderly lady about Mom's age and that woman's daughter. The other lady was given a new patient information sheet to fill out and the daughter was asking her the questions as the woman either couldn't see well enough to write or couldn't write legibly. You could hear a pin drop in the waiting room. At one point the woman said to her mom "I'm checking yes here to the question as to whether you have diabetes." At that point my mom said to me rather loudly...."Did you hear that? That poor woman has diabetes." I was looking for a hole to crawl into.

[RICHARD]

At that point my mom said to me rather loudly...."Did you hear that? That poor woman has diabetes." I was looking for a hole to crawl into.

You got me laughing now!

IF that had happened to me I would have leaned into my mom's space and said something like, "Well, your hearing is o.k.!"

[jazzcat]

LOL, Pam that is so funny. I noticed with both my parents that with age and loss of hearing came some very embarrassing moment for me. My Mother wasn't so bad but oh boy has my Dad left me red faced and apologizing. He likes to go to Shoney's and have the soup bar and even though I always do the walking to get his soup he always tells them to seat him next to the buffet bar. It never fails, some unsuspecting overweight lady will get a big plate of food and as she walks by he'll say something like "look at how that's piled up, no wonders she's so large".

I'll never forget sitting in Cracker Barrel with him and a middle aged lady with extremely large, frizzy permed hair from the 80s sat down across from us. In a whisper so loud you could hear in the next town he said "look at that lady, her hair looks like a stump full of granddaddies". As I tried to shut him up quietly he again in a loud whisper said "what? I just wanted you to see that hair, don't know when it's seen a comb".

That is just a couple of his zingers and don't even get me started on him going up to the soft drink dispenser at a fast food restaurant to wash his hands. He doesn't do that one in front of me because he knows I'll fuss at him but he does it with the caretaker. He says it's too far to walk to the restroom and I told him if he was that bad maybe it's time to check out a nursing home. That makes him fly straight for a while.

[catland]

On one of my visits, about a month before my mom had to be moved to foster care, my dad had made a beef stew for dinner. This was right about the time when mealtimes were becoming kind of hit or miss for her. Utensils were starting to become strangers to her and you didn't know if she would like something or just want to go back into the living room to be left alone.

Well, for what ever reason, she was really enjoying the beef stew and was just gobbling it up. My dad was so happy. Her bowl was almost empty so he grabbed it, got some more stew in it, and placed the bowl back down in front of her without her noticing and she continued to eat the stew. He and I just kind of winked at each other and smiled.

[Pam]

LOL, Pam that is so funny. I noticed with both my parents that with age and loss of hearing came some very embarrassing moment for me. My Mother wasn't so bad but oh boy has my Dad left me red faced and apologizing. He likes to go to Shoney's and have the soup bar and even though I always do the walking to get his soup he always tells them to seat him next to the buffet bar. It never fails, some unsuspecting overweight lady will get a big plate of food and as she walks by he'll say something like "look at how that's piled up, no wonders she's so large".

I'll never forget sitting in Cracker Barrel with him and a middle aged lady with extremely large, frizzy permed hair from the 80s sat down across from us. In a whisper so loud you could hear in the next town he said "look at that lady, her hair looks like a stump full of granddaddies". As I tried to shut him up quietly he again in a loud whisper said "what? I just wanted you to see that hair, don't know when it's seen a comb".

That is just a couple of his zingers and don't even get me started on him going up to the soft drink dispenser at a fast food restaurant to wash his hands. He doesn't do that one in front of me because he knows I'll fuss at him but he does it with the caretaker. He says it's too far to walk to the restroom and I told him if he was that bad maybe it's time to check out a nursing home. That makes him fly straight for a while.

LOL! You have me laughing! I bet we could write a book!

[catland]

Here's one for the book.

When my mom was talking about HER children, and my dad was trying to reason with her (never a good idea), he was explaining that we were his children too. (sidenote - my mom allways instilled in us the values of marriage and fidelity)

My mom paused - tried to make sense of what he said, and came up with the only reasonable explanation.

"well then, I must have had a lot of affairs."

[RICHARD]

Dad used to sit down to eat-He loved his buffets!- and would prepare his coffee.

If there wasn't a clean spoon on the table he'd reach into his pocket and pull out a pen to stir it up....

THAT would ice my mom sooooooo badly!

The running joke for us was if I served her a cup, with no spoon, she'd ask me for a pen to stir it!

------------------------


Now, on to the another problem I have.

IT's my nephew who lives in my mom's house. He's 26 years old and I really cannot trust him.

He came to live with mom about three years ago-he lived with another nephew and was told to move out because of his attitiude and the way he leaves stuff around the house.

Here are some examples of his habits.
The toilet got plugged up from his blowing his nose and tossing all the paper into the bowl-sometimes he doesn't bother to flush it.
He ended up getting on his computer-which has a dialup modem and SOMEHOW 400 dollars of charges were billed to her phone -He then stated that he thought that I may have run up the bill-I am DSL and I don't even have a phone in my house.

Groceries?
Mom and I would buy bottled water-she doesn't like tap water- he'd come pick up a few bottles and drink them.

In all that time, he has bought groceries maybe three times and water twice.

My mom is very adamant about complaining about who eats what in her home. Since I did most/all of the cooking for the past few years I'd shop and store all the groceries in her house.

I'd buy bread, sandwich meat, cheese and things for a quick lunch- I'd go over and ask mom if she wanted a sandwich, go into the fridge and see one slice of cheese and a package of meat that was starting to get hard-he's gone thru made sandwiches-but he doesn't bother to seal the packages -his thing is cheese. I'd pick up the block style cheese, he'd make grilled cheese sandwiches, toss the package back into the fridge and not bother with the rest of it because the end got hard because it was exposed to the air.

He's considerate enough to leave the last piece of bread in bag for us.

----------------------

This kid will not eat anything cooked - mom would always ask my brother -I wouldn't do it because she was creating a fastidious little AH- to bring him frozen food/burritos. I balked because when I was growing up I ate what the whole family ate. I eat pretty much anything - I am just glad to have a bite to eat.

In the evenings he would walk thru the house, go into the kitchen and start 'cooking'. a few minutes later he would walk out with nothing in his hands. I could never figure out what was going on until one day i looked out my door and was able to see him eating over the sink in my mom's kitchen.
No dishes to wash-paper plates and napkins. I do not remember ever sitting down at a table for a meal with him in attendance.

-------------

I got into a yell-a-thon with him a few minutes ago.

In all the time he has lived there he has been leaving and coming back days later. He stays with his girl friends and guy pals.

Since mom went to the hospital he splits without letting anyone know. Before that he'd go out and come home more drunk that I could ever get-He's think nothing of coming home at 4 in the morning and so drunk he chould not get into the gate. I'd be sitting up with mom and he'd stumble into her house without a word. I guess when you are that effed up you can't talk, walk and open a door. He'd look at me, then mom and move on-nothing-not a word, hi, eff you !!!!

This past week he left on Sunday, didn't leave a note or message, he called Monday and said he'd be back on Tuesday, the then called last night at 8:30 and said he'd be back later on, He came home today, walked into the house. I was lying on the front room floor he looked at me, walked into his room and started unpacking his bag- he then walked back to where I was lying and walked past me without a word.


Need a breath.....LOL, I need to stop breathing!

[Medusa]

Dad used to sit down to eat-He loved his buffets!- and would prepare his coffee.

If there wasn't a clean spoon on the table he'd reach into his pocket and pull out a pen to stir it up....

THAT would ice my mom sooooooo badly!

The running joke for us was if I served her a cup, with no spoon, she'd ask me for a pen to stir it!

------------------------


Now, on to the another problem I have.

IT's my nephew who lives in my mom's house. He's 26 years old and I really cannot trust him.

He came to live with mom about three years ago-he lived with another nephew and was told to move out because of his attitiude and the way he leaves stuff around the house.

Here are some examples of his habits.
The toilet got plugged up from his blowing his nose and tossing all the paper into the bowl-sometimes he doesn't bother to flush it.
He ended up getting on his computer-which has a dialup modem and SOMEHOW 400 dollars of charges were billed to her phone -He then stated that he thought that I may have run up the bill-I am DSL and I don't even have a phone in my house.

Groceries?
Mom and I would buy bottled water-she doesn't like tap water- he'd come pick up a few bottles and drink them.

In all that time, he has bought groceries maybe three times and water twice.

My mom is very adamant about complaining about who eats what in her home. Since I did most/all of the cooking for the past few years I'd shop and store all the groceries in her house.

I'd buy bread, sandwich meat, cheese and things for a quick lunch- I'd go over and ask mom if she wanted a sandwich, go into the fridge and see one slice of cheese and a package of meat that was starting to get hard-he's gone thru made sandwiches-but he doesn't bother to seal the packages -his thing is cheese. I'd pick up the block style cheese, he'd make grilled cheese sandwiches, toss the package back into the fridge and not bother with the rest of it because the end got hard because it was exposed to the air.

He's considerate enough to leave the last piece of bread in bag for us.

----------------------

This kid will not eat anything cooked - mom would always ask my brother -I wouldn't do it because she was creating a fastidious little AH- to bring him frozen food/burritos. I balked because when I was growing up I ate what the whole family ate. I eat pretty much anything - I am just glad to have a bite to eat.

In the evenings he would walk thru the house, go into the kitchen and start 'cooking'. a few minutes later he would walk out with nothing in his hands. I could never figure out what was going on until one day i looked out my door and was able to see him eating over the sink in my mom's kitchen.
No dishes to wash-paper plates and napkins. I do not remember ever sitting down at a table for a meal with him in attendance.

-------------

I got into a yell-a-thon with him a few minutes ago.

In all the time he has lived there he has been leaving and coming back days later. He stays with his girl friends and guy pals.

Since mom went to the hospital he splits without letting anyone know. Before that he'd go out and come home more drunk that I could ever get-He's think nothing of coming home at 4 in the morning and so drunk he chould not get into the gate. I'd be sitting up with mom and he'd stumble into her house without a word. I guess when you are that effed up you can't talk, walk and open a door. He'd look at me, then mom and move on-nothing-not a word, hi, eff you !!!!

This past week he left on Sunday, didn't leave a note or message, he called Monday and said he'd be back on Tuesday, the then called last night at 8:30 and said he'd be back later on, He came home today, walked into the house. I was lying on the front room floor he looked at me, walked into his room and started unpacking his bag- he then walked back to where I was lying and walked past me without a word.


Need a breath.....LOL, I need to stop breathing!

This is an easy one for me. Open the door, get behind your nephew, put your foot on his gluteus maximus and push! Then close the door and change the locks.

[RICHARD]

part two?

One of my other brothers was wild and crazy back when we were about my nephew's age.

When he was running around with his friends I told him if he got into trouble and was hurt or killed that I would not shed a tear for him......I guess it worked, he's still alive and kicking.

When I told my nephew this he kinda laughed and said that he wasn't worried.
The times I heard him come home and saw that he was so wasted that he could not walk I wondered what the people who drove him home were like.

I confronted him when he walked past me and told him, you aren't going to say anything? Because he is/was never told anything he immediately becomes defensive and starts to argue really stupid points.

I asked him why he doesn't call to check in or let us know where he is.

His response? I called you -twice to say he was coming home and then never shows up- He could be at the morgue or county jail for all I know when he pulls that shiat! He then turns it back on me that his number is on the caller I.D. and I should call him to get info. I laughed at him and told him I wasn't in the business of keeping track of him and it was up to him to respect my mom's house and me.

My family has this really stupid phone ethic that they cannot be bothered to make an extra call or make a 'decent' phone call-another reason that I don't have a phone and don't run to answer a ringing phone. Examples? My sis would call my mom and tell her she was having a party and that SHE should tell everyone to come.

Like,she can't call us individually and make the invite? The last time we hade a Christmas party I asked her what I should bring and she said, "Nothing!' Later on she complained that no one helped her with the expense of throwing the party-we helped her clean up and my GF at the time evn washed her effing dishes!

Another thing that happens is my sibs call to my mom's house and they always sound like it's a GD emergency, "MOM, pick up the phone, HELLO, HELLO!"

I told my nephew that it wasn't my job to keep track of him and it was his job to give us a courtesy call to let us know where he is. He seems to think that I should call him.

He also started to give me that BS line that he's out on job interviews. When he called last night-I heard the call on the machine but did not pick it up because he was already drunk and slurring his words. I didn't bother to answer it. I knew that he was partying with his pals.

A about two weeks ago he told me that he might be leaving - his other thing is leaving about 8-8:30 in the evening, saying he's coming back later on and shows up three days later! When 10:30 rolled around he hadn't left-so I went into the house and sat down to watch TV and keep my eye on things.

ON other occasions he's brought his friends into Ma's house, into his room and they stay up drinking until 12-1 in the morning. Mom had come to camp out on the sofa in the front room so having him and his friends parade thru the house was kinda inconsiderate.

Anyway, It was a few minutes after midnight when I heard a car pull up and the gate rattle, I went to the front door and there was a woman on the porch asking for him. I told her that it was late and if she knew what time it was. She asked for A and I told her to wait.....I had never seen this twit before and I sure wasn't going to invite her in. I went an got him.....he picked up his bag, walked out and didn't come back for a few days.

When I told him that if he wasn't going to call and make a courtesy call-other than the "i'll be home later" and never show up phone calls he should get out.


He had the nerve to tell me that I wasn't working and just sat around all day.

I told him that I have worked for years already and it was none of his business.

I also told him that his computer was unplugged until I said it would be plugged back in.

------------

I guess what I need to know is if I am wrong for being such a hard arse on him.


I haven't asked for anything much in return.....Just for him to be considerate and he can stay in the house......

I am waiting for him to be out and get a call from the police or hospital.....I don't need that shiat and cannot and will not help him if he does get into a bind.

It's just another problem I do not need now.