I don't think there is a black and white answer.

There ARE relationships and marriages that have survived infidelity - but the erring spouse HAS to commit to change, there has to be counselling for both. And the ES has to earn trust back, little by little by little, for a long time.

For some reason, I thought about Jimmy Carter just now...and sort of half-smiled in my mind, recalling his admission about 'committing adultery in his heart' many times.

I'm in Canada - but seems to me Mr Carter aged 10 years in his first 3 as President. I guess a fairly decent man suffers a lot more stress at the top...