Sad Rant (maybe a little long)

[DJFyrewolf36]

Stress can make people react a lot more hostile than usual...no need to bite your head off though!
Hopefully your friend will calm down and realize why she was so bothered.
*HUGS* to you! At least you did tell her you were joking with the card, maybe she will get it later and laugh.

[Emeraldgreen]

It sounds like you have done everything there is to do. You emailed her instead of phoning regarding her birthday wish and after that was not received very well, you IM'd her. All that is left is smoke signals!

I agree with some of the other posts that your friend must have some more stuff going on that is allowing her to react like this. She knows you're sorry and she heard you crying on the phone and she can see that you keep trying to communicate with her so it seems like the ball is in her court.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. The first mistake made about calling her while she was busy isn't all that uncommon and happens so much with everybody. To continue to be this mad about it seems like there has to be more to her story.

I hope that things will get better and that you guys will be able to get back to being friends.

[carole]

I am sure as time goes on she will get over her feelings of anger towards you, you have apologized you can not do much more,perhaps if you said to her you recognize it was a bad time to call, and you won't be doing it again, that might help, only you know your friend, i must admit i am a stickler for NOT calling people at work, i never would unless it is an emergency,as i would not like it myself, i am old fashioned in that respect i guess, work is work to me, anyhow that is just my take on things.

Don't worry too much Donna, if she is truly the friend you say she is , she will forgive you,and she probably did over-react and will realize this later on, and mellow a bit ok.

[moosmom]

Oh we'll always be friends. But when I sent her the Happy Birthday IM and heard a door slam and her signing off really hurt.

She has been going through alot. Her Mom passed away 2 months ago and she's been trying to clean out her Dad's house. Nothing has been done to it in many years and her father is very specific about what he wants and does not want in the house. I've offered my services and she's turned me down. She also has two kids to get ready to go back to boarding school. So yeah, she's got alot on her plate. But I have never EVER, in all the times I've been stressed out, said so many hurtful things to someone I hold dear to me.

The ball is now in her court. I've apologized over and over and I'm done. She said last night after she ripped me a new one that she's said her peace and has moved on, but after this morning's little rejection, I kind of doubt it.

[Moesha]

Did she make the slamming door sound, or is that just the sound that the IM program makes when someone signs off? If it is just the program, which I have heard before, from AIM maybe, she probably didn't realize the full effect you got when she left. I'm with the others, give her a little time and space and I'm sure she'll realize that her actions were not a fitting response to you calling at an inopportune time.

[moosmom]

Moesha,

It was AIM that made the sound when someone signs off. I'll give her time. I've known her my entire life and won't let something like this kill our friendship.

[Medusa]

Donna, I had something like that happen to me recently, too. My friend also overreacted and the more I tried to make things right between us, the angrier she became, so I've decided to just let her be for now and hope that she'll come around. If your friend values your friendship as much as you do, she'll cool off and you'll be able to sort things out. You probably caught her at a bad time and seeing that you said she's had some tough times lately, she just blew a gasket. We're all busy, though, and all are deserving of respect, no matter how busy or tired or stressed we are. I agree w/you, don't grovel, just let it be for now. Least said, easiest mended.

[Freedom]

Just do not contact her at work at all for the time being. That seems to be a touchy spot for her just now.

Only make contact at her home. If she has voice mail /answer machine, maybe consider leaving her a message for her to pick up when she gets home from work -- just a quick "Hi, glad the work day is done and you are on to other things." No more apologies, don't bring this stuff up in a message. Maybe a short quick joke, something to make her smile and move on. And not more than one per week for now, either.

Just one idea, to help get past this and move on. Then when things are a bit calmer if need be the 2 of you can rediscuss. you may not hear from her until after the kids return to boarding school and she has time to redirect.