Sassy

[Alysser]

I found Mr. Bear..he still smells like you. Thanks for making me cry all over again. I miss you so much.

[Alysser]

Wow, it's been over 2 months since you left me.

The words "it was for the best.." and whatever else people say to comfort you are getting old. Maybe that's true, but why does it still feel like I could have done more to save you? I am just sick of feeling sorry for myself when I know I should feel sorry for you. Today was a horrible day for me, I could hardly focus on anything at work, maybe that's why I was in such a horrible mood. People keep saying you're in heaven, that's great and all but YOU'RE NOT here with ME. You shouldn't have died so young, it wasn't fair. Baby, I'm so sorry. I STILL miss you! The worst part is no one really understands this feeling. I don't like talking about it with anyone. It just doesn't feel right.

I know, I sound so selfish, but I can't help it. Living without a dog is like living in hell, honestly. I can't wait till I move out so I can get one.

love you sas,

mommy

I think this guy knows how I feel-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-86nvBVjaY

[chocolatepuppy]

Sometimes people don't know what to say and what they do end up saying isn't what you want to hear. You want Sassy back, I know. Please remember Alyssa, Sassy is with you, she is a part of you and always will be. If you need someone to talk to pm me anytime, ok? {{{hugs}}}

[pomtzu]

The worst part is no one really understands

You may think this, but anyone who has ever lost a beloved pet, feels the same way. She'll always be with you and as time goes by the pain does get easier to bear. There will always be times when you are reduced to tears when you think of Sassy, but you'll find that the times you smile and laugh when you think of her will outnumber the times of sadness. You have so many wonderful pictures and memories of the happy times you spent together, and no one can ever take that away from you. Someday when the time is right and you least expect it, another little furball will wiggle it's way in to your life and your heart. And altho it will never be a replacement of the one you have lost, you'll find that you will again have a very special little friend to share your life - and Sassy will smile down upon you and be so happy for both of you. Please believe me - I've been there!

[Alysser]

I know people understand but you still kind of feel isolated from the rest of the world, like no one can understand what pain you're going through. Honestly, before this I never understood the feeling of death when my friends talked about it. I always felt bad and stuff but whenever someone died in my family I was either too young to really understand or I didn't know them that well. Sunny was my first death and it was hard but not nearly as hard as Sas was. Sassy was probably the best thing that ever happened to me and now she's gone. I miss her so much.

[pomtzu]

I know people understand but you still kind of feel isolated from the rest of the world, Sassy was probably the best thing that ever happened to me and now she's gone. I miss her so much.

Of course you feel isolated, and of course you miss her - that's only natural. Everyone has to deal with loss in their own way - there is no instruction manual on this subject! In my 40+ years of adulthood (yes - I'm OLD enough to be your grandmother) I have lost numerous very precious dogs and cats - some lived a very long life and others not long enough. Every time was different but none the less heartbreaking and I found that I dealt with each loss differently. To this day, I still occassionally get misty-eyed when I think of them and the time we had together. Unfortunately - that time is never long enough! You will feel better even tho you don't think so right now. Just take your time and don't try to rush thru this process. And just remember that Sassy will ALWAYS be with you - she has her pawprint on your heart!
Sparky and Myndi are sending you big doggie kisses

[Molly2452]

Well, I'm crying right now...hard to type. I know you wrote that a couple of months ago...but it is new for me. You expressed my feelings exactly when I lost my Missy. SO hard to let her go, but it was time. Now, I hope you are feeling somewhat better. I had to show you my new precious...named.......Sassy! I'm brand new on Pet Talk and had never read this before so this is purely coincidence: My Sassy is a baby bichon! Makes you wonder about reincarnation! Here she is:

[Alysser]

Sassy is very cute, and I hope she has brought you happiness after your loss.

I feel better, and have been moving on. I will never completely move on but I'm healing..

[Alysser]

Tommorow will be 3 months since you died. I still love you, wuppy. I hope you're having a great time at the RB baby, I can't wait to see you again.

[.sarah]

Oh gosh, Alyssa, I had no idea Sassy had passed on. I am so sorry. I understand what you are going through with grieving. My childhood dog was absolutely my best friend growing up and his death was the most difficult thing I'd dealt with at the time, even though I'd lost family members before him. I hope it's getting easier for you, but if not now, someday, you'll be able to look back without being sad. I know now when I think of Buttons, I don't cry anymore, but it took me a while to get there. It's been almost four years now since he died and it's funny how some things still seem like just yesterday.

[Alysser]

Tommorow will be SIX months exactly since you died. WOW, where did time go? It's hard to believe I writing this exact thread nearly 6 months ago, announcing your death. It's just...strange.

Sas, I don't want to say it, but I'm moving on now. I, of course, still miss you. I watch your memorial video every day. It's the least I can do for you since you gave me so much more. Moving on seemed so hard, but remembering the happy times, I never cry anymore. I haven't cried for you in nearly 2 months and I don't feel guilty about it anymore. I know I did the right thing for you, it took a story in a book to teach me that, but it's true. You're still the best wuppy in the entire world, everyone misses you and STILL loves you! We're going to volunteer at the SPCA to give our love to more animals. They will never replace you, ever. But, it'll help us a little more. As for you pup, you better be attacking all those Mr. Bears at the Rainbow Bridge for me I hope you are enjoying your NEW back legs and running and sitting on all the boogie boards in the pool. I especially hope you're getting all the goodies you ever wanted, just keep the weight off silly girl LOL.

Your loving mommy,
Alyssa

[Alysser]

Can anyone explain this to me? I thought the pain was over, but apparently it's not. The last 2 days I've seen pics and heard songs about saying good-bye and I just think of Sassy and cry. Yesterday I was so upset and I felt like such a fool that I closed my bedroom door so no one could see me crying and I had to tell my mom I was on the phone. No one seems to cry or be sad over her around here anymore except me. It's been over a year now, is this normal? Why all of a sudden am I missing her again, I feel like it just happened? I've gone for months without crying when I see pics of her and now all of a sudden it sadden me. I swear last night I made the sig I have and honestly didn't even realize what I was doing...ugh I'm just sick of missing her, I just want her home again. I'm not a person who crys often and it just sucks that I think it's a bad thing, I know it's not but it feels so wrong and I feel like a fool crying over her when she's been gone for over a year.

Love you, pup

[zoey]

Hi Alyssa,

i haven't been around in awhile, but i remember you from before.
What you're experiencing at this time is totally normal. It just shows how
much love you had and still have for your beloved Sassy. Don't be too hard
on yourself for feeling the pain, just feel it and come post with it too.
It seems to help some. And it will take a very long time to not feel it
so intensly. You will have good days and bad days, but all the good days you
had with Sassy are yours and hers forever and can never be taken away.
I was really sad to read of your doggie's passing, but she is alive and well
at RB. Take care sweetie, and message me if you like.

*gentle hugs*

[Taz_Zoee]

Alyssa, what you are experiencing is totally normal. We had a dog, Pepper, when I was young. He was about 12 when he had to go to the Bridge. I was a couple years older than him. I didn't cry that much when he died. Then in high school I had to write a Spring Anthology in my English class. I decided to write about Pepper. I cried so hard while writing that paper, I thought I was crazy.
Things will happen that will bring back memories so vivid. That's when the hurt surfaces all over again.

One thing you have that I didn't have back then is Pet Talk.

Hugs to you Alyssa.

Cindy

[Alysser]

So tomorrow would have been your 12th birthday, wow, time really goes by quickly.

Okay, I'll get straight to the point. I'm not going to lie and say I am still okay about this death, I'm not gonna lie and say "I'm over it" either. But today, I realized I finally have found some closure. I don't think about you as much and I am not longer totally broken over this. I just can't believe the pain still exists. I don't really publicize these things to my friends or family - but I do need to get this out. I never imagined the pain of a broken heart, the dreadful feeling of loss and never seeing her again. It changed me on both ways of the spectrum. I was broken and death is still something I am dealing with along with Sassy's and the death of an accquantiance over the summer, this all shook me to the core - it crippled and broke me and I couldn't believe it was happening at the time. Then all those months without a dog, without the real love for an animal didn't help. I am good at hiding my feelings and I acted happy when I wasn't. Most of the time I was happy, but sometimes I really wasn't. The memories were painful and it just..broke me. I can't totally explain what "broke me" means, but something to me mentally. I dealt with alot of grief for one period and it changed me on the view of death. I can explain it - but I'm still kinda going through it. I think about it alot, so I'll hold off on that.

I'm really rambling now, so I'm gonna wrap this up. Sassy, I really loved you, but I realized finally after over year and a half I really did the right thing for you. I do have some regrets on the situation but taught me alot. I thank you for being in my life and I will always love you. You'll always be my first real dog and that'll never change. Mikey has brought the emptiness out of my life, and I can't thank you enough for "sending" him to us. I can't thank him enough for perhaps finally rescuing me.

Sorry, I realize this is a long, corny post, and a few of you may think of me as a weirdo after. But this is how I've felt for a long time and only 1 person knows about it to an extent.