Kittykatherine, failure is a word that definitely does not apply here. You've tried everything you can think of to help Sydney, so don't be so hard on yourself. Remember that "love never fails". People often think that scripture means "love always wins" but another way to look at it is that "love never gives up". (When we say that someone died of heart failure, it means that the heart failed, or "gave up".) You have not given up; you're still trying and you will continue to try for Sydney to make his life as comfortable as possible. You're doing a wonderful thing and Sydney knows it, too.