i need to get this out

[Catty1]

She is online now - I just PM'd her.

She did post after getting the WestJet numbers that she couldn't get a flight - and would be too sore to sit for that long. She has my phone # and email if there is anything I can do.

[Catty1]

http://www.slsedmonton.com/docs/DomesticAbuse.pdf

Domestic abuse is against the law. Any person who abuses you is committing a crime even if that person is your spouse, partner or someone else that you are close to. The police can get involved when someone commits–or is threatening to commit–a crime. The following are chargeable offences under the Criminal Code:

Assault: intentionally applying force to another without that person's consent, or threatening to do so when it is believed that Domestic abuse is against the law. Any person who abuses you is committing a crime even if that person is your spouse, partner or someone else that you are close to.

Sexual Assault: unwanted sexual contact.

Criminal Harassment (stalking): harassment that causes someone to fear for their, or another person's, safety.

Uttering Threats: threatening to cause death or bodily harm, or to damage or destroy property. This also includes threatening injury to your pet.

Forcible Confinement: confining, forcibly seizing or imprisoning someone. This includes forcing someone to stay in bed or a chair for long periods of time. If any of the above apply to your relationship, you should get the police involved as soon as possible to make sure that you are protected.

During an assault, or as soon as possible afterward, you should call the police. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 (or the emergency number for your area). If you can’t call right away, you can talk to the police when it is safer for you to do so.[/COLOR] When you talk to the police, you should give them as much information as possible. They need to know if:

a. Your life is in danger
b. You are injured
c. There are weapons involved
d. There are drugs/alcohol involved
e. There are children or others in the home
f. There is a history of violence
g. You have a restraining order or peace bond against your
abuser

If the police come to your home, they will need to figure out what has been happening and to make sure that everyone is safe. The police may have some questions for you and it is important that you give them complete, factual information so that they can work to protect you. The police will probably want to know the details of the violence and any injuries that you suffered. If you already have a peace bond or restraining order against the person who
assaulted you, you should show a copy of it to the police.

The police can decide to lay a criminal charge against your abuser if they have reasonable and probable grounds to believe that a crime took place. This just means that they must think that your abuser committed a crime against you. They may decide to arrest your abuser and take him/her into custody. Within 24 hours of the arrest, an arrested person has the right to a bail hearing. At the bail hearing, a judge or justice of the peace will decide if it is safe for the arrested person to be released until the court date.

If the arrested person is released, you can tell the police that you are afraid of your abuser and ask that conditions be placed on their release prohibiting that person from contacting you. The police have recently enacted guidelines for notifying victims of an accused's release. It is important that you know that the police or Crown Prosecutor only notify you when they believe you are at a high risk.

If the police decide not to arrest your abuser but do still charge him or her with assault, he or she will be given an Appearance Notice with information on it with required dates and times about reporting for fingerprints and the first court appearance. As many offenders are released with an Appearance Notice, victims should inform themselves as to the conditions of release. Victims can do so by contacting the police or the Crown Prosecutor's office. The victim should inform the police immediately of any breach of release conditions. If the police decide that there is not enough evidence to charge your abuser at all, you can ask that the decision be reviewed by the officer’s supervisor or you can lay a “private information” against him or her. SEE #1 JUST BELOW

1. Criminal Assault Charges
If the police have decided not to press charges against your abuser, you can press charges yourself. To do so, call the Provincial Court - Criminal Division Clerk’s Office and tell them that you want to "lay a private information" for assault. The Clerk's Office will set up an appointment for you to speak to a Justice of the Peace. During that meeting, you will get to tell your side of the story. If the Justice of the Peace allows you to proceed, he or she will forward your complaint to the Crown Prosecutor’s Office. The Prosecutor’s Office will then decide if there is enough evidence to go ahead with the charge and, if so, you will get a chance to tell your story in court.

2. Peace Bonds
A peace bond is a court order that requires someone to "keep the peace" and obey any other conditions that the court places on the order. It can take weeks or months to get a peace bond–but the bond can be granted for a maximum of 12 months.

3. Restraining Orders
A restraining order is a court order like a peace bond, but they are not exactly the same. A restraining order is issued from civil court, rather than criminal court like a peace bond, and you will need a lawyer to help you get a restraining order. A restraining order can be attached to another action like a divorce or a civil action for assault, or you can ask for a restraining order alone. A lawyer should be able to get you a restraining order within 48 hours of meeting with her. Many orders are granted without notice to the abuser of the hearing. However, the Respondent [abuser] must be served with a copy of the order.

[lvpets2002]

Has AnyOne Heard From Gayle this Morning?? Gosh I sure hope she is ok & safe.. I Am Just In Rage Of That Sorry Piece Of A Excuse Of A Man.. I sure hope Gayle can get the help she needs & get out of this mess.. I Know its Very Hard!! Why do you think I have been divorced for 11 1/2 years.. Ok enough said about me.. Well I hope Gayle will check in with us soon.. Be safe Gayle & we are all sending Lots of Love, Huggss, Prayers && above all an Open door in Tx..

[carole]

Hoping to hear something soon, i hope gayle is ok.

[*LabLoverKEB*]

Still praying for Gayle...

[Daisy and Delilah]

Please check in Gayle. I keep checking this thread to see if you've posted. I'm getting very worried. I can't get these abusive men off my mind that we currently know about on this board. It's just horrid!! No one should have to live like that. I hope you're safe and he's somewhere else. If I were in better health right now, I would be asking a few of you if you would like a Florida vacation, perhaps permanently.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[Queen of Poop]

Thanks all for your concern. I couldn't get access till now. He's promised no more drinking and has held to that the last couple of days. I am weighing my options now.

[Catty1]

Gayle - please give a call to Al-Anon. If this guy has a history of drinking, quitting on his own will be 'white-knuckle', and he will snap at some point and go on a bender if he is a real alcoholic.

One option - just a suggestion - is to go live on your own til he proves he is recovered and sober. If he can stay sober for a year, that is a good sign.

But - my question - why stay with someone who already has hurt you physically, and badly? I get a bad feeling because I don't think you posted that he was back...because you felt uneasy? Because we would get upset here on PT? There is a good reason we would get upset, hon.

JMO - you are living with a time bomb.

You went thru hell with this guy before, and I hope staying there is NOT one option you are considering.

I hope you are weighing your options with the help of a counsellor, women's centre, or other.

hugs!

[CathyBogart]

*Hugs* Gayle, I hope everything works out for the best, whatever you decide to do. You've got lots of friends here if you need anything.

[Twisterdog]

I agree with Catty1.

Wishing you the best way out of this bad situation. It's hard to leave, but much worse to stay.

[emily_the_spoiled]

Gayle, I am not sure what you are thinking right now but I can tell you that before I moved to Washington I lived in Calgary for a number of years. During that time I did some work with the Calgary Women's shelter and it is a good organization. They can help you either by providing you with temporary shelter or referral to someone to talk with.

Please contact them. Here is their website

http://www.calgarywomensshelter.com/...y/contact.html

[pitc9]

Sending {{hugs}} and prayers to you Gayle!

[Sevaede]

**HUGS** your way, Gayle! I hope whatever you decide that it is the best possible choice for YOU! Do not compromise your health, happiness, or safety!

[Edwina's Secretary]

Gayle...I am sorry your visit ended so badly. I would not presume to give advice that has not been solicited to someone I do not know. I hope you find the best solution for you.

And I hope you will come back to SoCal someday and make much happier memories.

[carole]

Gayle i do not know all the circumstances or know you very well either, but from what you have posted now and before ,this is an ongoing thing, the abuse from your husband,honestly i don't think he is going to change, but i could be wrong, i hope so, i hope you can find the courage and strength to leave ,because no-one deserves to be treated this way,drink is often the excuse, and IMO it just does not wear with me, i too have lived with an alcoholic, he was not physically abusive,but mentally, i had a young child with him, and i have never regretted my decision to leave him,i am now with a man who is nothing like him,you too can have such a life without all this pain and suffering.

I wish you all the best in whatever you decide,i really hate to see you going through all of this. HUGS.