I know it's really easy for anyone not in your situation to say all kinds of things that we think would make you feel better. But I'm not going to do that. I'm just going to tell you that we are here for you. Any time you need to talk, vent or cry we will listen and not judge you (or at least I won't and I know most PTers won't).
I do believe we learn from our mistakes. Those mistakes usually hurt like hell, but you can learn from them.
You WILL get through this. I know it may not seem like it right now, but you will.