Desperate Help Needed - Noah

[Rachel]

My Family...

I'm experiencing a TON of warriness. I'm so scared to tell my parents. I know that they'll be so upset no matter what I say or do. Even though they've done a bunch of not nice things, I know that from deep down, THEY feel its from wanting the best for me. I know that in my heart. The problem is, I DO care. I wish I could just turn it off. I don't ever want to hurt anyone, regardless of if they hurt me first.

Will you all please pray extra hard for me? That I know what to say and when to say it? If I'm led to "say" anything at all...or if God wants me to leave them a letter and go quiety. Whatever He wants me to do, whatever is RIGHT, I want to do it. I'll live through the harsh, meanness I'm most certainly going to recieve. I just want to do what will inflict the least amount of damage.

You are all so wonderful. Thank you all, for just being there for me. Having you here is just, priceless...(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

Love, Kelly

P.S. Update: due to the bad rains, storms, flooding here, my parents cancelled their day trip for tomorrow. Darn it! But, Kevin and Krista are going to help me get/move the stuff out of storage and into the apt on Sunday.

Kelly, I really understand how your health and maintaining it is the most important thing. Only you can decide what is the best course of action to keep your health on an even keel. If that wasn't part of the mix (which of course it is), I would ask you to consider the following.

Much of the issue with your parents seems to be that they treat you as a child. That is their problem. In order to try to change that, at least from what you have the ability to control, what you can do is try to handle situations in an adult manner. Ask yourself what is the most adult way to handle this.

The other thing to consider would be, if you were the parent how would you want your child to handle such a move? (Kind of like do unto others how you would like them to do unto you).

That is my input. This is only one of many difficult decisions that life will throw your way. Sometimes even if the outcome isn't what your want or envision, one can feel good that we tried to handle something in the appropriate manner. I personally respect whatever decision you come to because I see how hard you are trying to sort out a course of action.

[Catsnclay]

Kelly, I have to agree with Rachel.....


If you want to be treated as an adult, then act like one.

IMO - do not leave a note. You need to sit them down and explain to them that this is your time to leave. Thank them for all their help and love, but it now time for you to move on into your own place.

Done, simple and to the point. It doesn't matter if they like your decision or not, but at least you confronted them. Keep confronting them, they will learn that you ARE an adult, and if you act & treat them as one, then in turn they will learn to treat you as an equal. But if you run and leave a note, in their mind that is the childish thing to do and will continue to treat you as their child.

Like I said, this is MY opinion, and this is how I would handle this situation.....which BTW, I too have been in your shoes, so I do know what you are going through.

Stand your ground, and be polite about it. Good Luck!!!!!!

Bunny

[ramanth]

Lots of prayers for you Kelly.

Either way, whether you leave a note or tell them in person, they are likely to be upset, right?

Are you afraid that if you tell them in person, they'll stop you from leaving? Are they capable of that?

I hate confrontations as well but I'm just curious for the need of secrecy. I don't mean to be nosy.

*HUGS*

[NoahsMommy]

You've made some VERY good points. If I want them to view and treat me like an adult, I need to act like one. Just writing a note is not going to be adult-like, even if it'll get me out of an initial confrontation. That confrontation needs to happen, regardless of the result.

I'm going to sit down with them both this Friday after work. That way, if they make me leave right away, I'll still have a place to go to. I can go to my new apartment and take a kitty or two on my way...or go alone and get them on Saturday as planned.

I'm going to praying constantly until then that God provides the words. I CANNOT do this alone.

Love, Kelly

P.S. I'm meeting my brother at the storage place at 1:00 pm, then we'll get to the new apartment and Kristin at 3:00 p.m. to move some things in. Yay!!

[carole]

All the best Kelly, you can do it, it will be hard i know, but you will find the inner strength to say the right thing i'm sure,hoping it all goes better than you expect, take care and HUGS.

[ramanth]

Good luck Kelly!!!

[Alysser]

I just read the whole thread, and I am saddened that you had such a hard time at home. Hope all goes well for you!!! I will be waiting for updates.

[Rachel]

You've made some VERY good points. If I want them to view and treat me like an adult, I need to act like one. Just writing a note is not going to be adult-like, even if it'll get me out of an initial confrontation. That confrontation needs to happen, regardless of the result.

I'm going to sit down with them both this Friday after work. That way, if they make me leave right away, I'll still have a place to go to. I can go to my new apartment and take a kitty or two on my way...or go alone and get them on Saturday as planned.

I'm going to praying constantly until then that God provides the words. I CANNOT do this alone.

Love, Kelly

P.S. I'm meeting my brother at the storage place at 1:00 pm, then we'll get to the new apartment and Kristin at 3:00 p.m. to move some things in. Yay!!

Kelly, I will be praying for you too. I am very proud of your thoughtful consideration of how best to handle this. {{{hugs}}}

[NoahsMommy]

My Sweet Friends/Family,

Well, today did NOT go as planned, but it worked out for the best, actually. Kristin did not call me back so I knew what time to come and bring some of my things (ie: my bed from the storage unit my brother and I are sharing). She finally called me at 3:00 p.m., the time I asked if we could BE THERE at. Oh well...I guess she left her cell phone somewhere and didn't have access to it. She said she didn't realize it until she saw the time and knew I'd be coming in the afternoon. Oh well.

We're meeting Tuesday at 5:30 p.m. at the apartment so she can give me a key. Then it wont matter if she's there or not.

My brother was actually a good sport about everything. So that's nice. He was right, you all were right, I need to tell my parents. I wouldn't be proud of myself if I didn't. So, now I have a week of nerves on edge until I talk to them on Friday. I'm going to be praying HARD for God to help me with this, there is NO WAY I'd be able to do it alone. So your prayers (Thank you to your church, Karen! That's so kind/sweet of you!) are VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!!!

I'm thinking that if Friday doesn't go very well, I'll pick up my Micah from CiCi's house on the way to my new place. That is 2/1/08, so its OK for me to move in then. Then Micah and I will have a campout! YAY!

I'll keep you all updated. ALL the prayers you can offer will certainly help. I just need calm and clarity...and prayers they will recieve me.

Hugs, Kelly and kits

XOXOXOXOXOX

[Laura's Babies]

Good thoughts coming your way and prayers already said for you to find the right words and thing be peaceful for you.