Desperate Help Needed - Noah

[carole]

Kelly the reason you are feeling bad nearer your shift, is because you are such a loving person, that even after everything your family has put you through ,you still have compassion,something they seem truely lacking in.

I am so excited for you,please try and find that inner peace and harmony within yourself, and DONOT by any means feel even the smallest amount of guilt about leaving, you are not being ungrateful,you know they are the ones missing out in life,they should consider themselves honoured to have such a wonderful daughter,why on earth they cannot see it is beyond me.

You take much care now, and relax sweetie, times ahead are going to be good.

[ramanth]

You can do it Kelly! Keep focused on YOU! You and your kitties are what matter.

*HUGS*

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Thank you all so very much!!! For everything!!

That's what "family" is for

[emily_the_spoiled]

Kelly, please remember that you are not alone in this situation. We are hear to listen and provide support for both you and Noah.

I would also like to tell you that you are not the only person who has been in this situation. When I was arranging to immigrate countries, I was living 500 miles from my parents but I did not tell anyone in my family that I was planning on immigrating until about 1 month before I left. By then I had all the paperwork in order and the movers booked, so they could say anything they wanted but it was too late to do anything about it. I realize you situation is different because you still live at home, but sometimes you have to do these things for your own peace and happiness (and sanity).

[NoahsMommy]

My Family...

I'm experiencing a TON of warriness. I'm so scared to tell my parents. I know that they'll be so upset no matter what I say or do. Even though they've done a bunch of not nice things, I know that from deep down, THEY feel its from wanting the best for me. I know that in my heart. The problem is, I DO care. I wish I could just turn it off. I don't ever want to hurt anyone, regardless of if they hurt me first.

Will you all please pray extra hard for me? That I know what to say and when to say it? If I'm led to "say" anything at all...or if God wants me to leave them a letter and go quiety. Whatever He wants me to do, whatever is RIGHT, I want to do it. I'll live through the harsh, meanness I'm most certainly going to recieve. I just want to do what will inflict the least amount of damage.

You are all so wonderful. Thank you all, for just being there for me. Having you here is just, priceless...(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

Love, Kelly

P.S. Update: due to the bad rains, storms, flooding here, my parents cancelled their day trip for tomorrow. Darn it! But, Kevin and Krista are going to help me get/move the stuff out of storage and into the apt on Sunday.

[Catty1]

Kelly - I try asking God to provide the words, and just work through my hand/pen (or mouth - I should ask THAT one more often! )

You may want to write to them AFTER you move, also. Give that some thought.

HUGS

Just because you are pro-Kelly does not mean you are anti-anyone-else - know what I mean?

Being on your own side and acting that way is not a hurtful act. Others may react with hurt, or etc. But that is not your fault or concern - that is theirs to deal with.

You can care about your family - you just can't take care OF them.

Your turn, sweetie!

[krazyaboutkatz]

Kelly, Of course I'll pray extra hard for you. I would think that your parents would be happy and glad to hear that you've found a wonderful new place to live and also that you'll have a great roommate as well. Don't they want you to be happy? They also know that you love your furkids and that now you'll be able to live with them again. If you feel uncomfortable in telling them this news in person then I'd write them a letter. I just hope that everything will work out for you. You deserve to be happy. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[Rachel]

My Family...

I'm experiencing a TON of warriness. I'm so scared to tell my parents. I know that they'll be so upset no matter what I say or do. Even though they've done a bunch of not nice things, I know that from deep down, THEY feel its from wanting the best for me. I know that in my heart. The problem is, I DO care. I wish I could just turn it off. I don't ever want to hurt anyone, regardless of if they hurt me first.

Will you all please pray extra hard for me? That I know what to say and when to say it? If I'm led to "say" anything at all...or if God wants me to leave them a letter and go quiety. Whatever He wants me to do, whatever is RIGHT, I want to do it. I'll live through the harsh, meanness I'm most certainly going to recieve. I just want to do what will inflict the least amount of damage.

You are all so wonderful. Thank you all, for just being there for me. Having you here is just, priceless...(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

Love, Kelly

P.S. Update: due to the bad rains, storms, flooding here, my parents cancelled their day trip for tomorrow. Darn it! But, Kevin and Krista are going to help me get/move the stuff out of storage and into the apt on Sunday.

Kelly, I really understand how your health and maintaining it is the most important thing. Only you can decide what is the best course of action to keep your health on an even keel. If that wasn't part of the mix (which of course it is), I would ask you to consider the following.

Much of the issue with your parents seems to be that they treat you as a child. That is their problem. In order to try to change that, at least from what you have the ability to control, what you can do is try to handle situations in an adult manner. Ask yourself what is the most adult way to handle this.

The other thing to consider would be, if you were the parent how would you want your child to handle such a move? (Kind of like do unto others how you would like them to do unto you).

That is my input. This is only one of many difficult decisions that life will throw your way. Sometimes even if the outcome isn't what your want or envision, one can feel good that we tried to handle something in the appropriate manner. I personally respect whatever decision you come to because I see how hard you are trying to sort out a course of action.

[Catsnclay]

Kelly, I have to agree with Rachel.....


If you want to be treated as an adult, then act like one.

IMO - do not leave a note. You need to sit them down and explain to them that this is your time to leave. Thank them for all their help and love, but it now time for you to move on into your own place.

Done, simple and to the point. It doesn't matter if they like your decision or not, but at least you confronted them. Keep confronting them, they will learn that you ARE an adult, and if you act & treat them as one, then in turn they will learn to treat you as an equal. But if you run and leave a note, in their mind that is the childish thing to do and will continue to treat you as their child.

Like I said, this is MY opinion, and this is how I would handle this situation.....which BTW, I too have been in your shoes, so I do know what you are going through.

Stand your ground, and be polite about it. Good Luck!!!!!!

Bunny

[ramanth]

Lots of prayers for you Kelly.

Either way, whether you leave a note or tell them in person, they are likely to be upset, right?

Are you afraid that if you tell them in person, they'll stop you from leaving? Are they capable of that?

I hate confrontations as well but I'm just curious for the need of secrecy. I don't mean to be nosy.

*HUGS*

[NoahsMommy]

You've made some VERY good points. If I want them to view and treat me like an adult, I need to act like one. Just writing a note is not going to be adult-like, even if it'll get me out of an initial confrontation. That confrontation needs to happen, regardless of the result.

I'm going to sit down with them both this Friday after work. That way, if they make me leave right away, I'll still have a place to go to. I can go to my new apartment and take a kitty or two on my way...or go alone and get them on Saturday as planned.

I'm going to praying constantly until then that God provides the words. I CANNOT do this alone.

Love, Kelly

P.S. I'm meeting my brother at the storage place at 1:00 pm, then we'll get to the new apartment and Kristin at 3:00 p.m. to move some things in. Yay!!

[carole]

All the best Kelly, you can do it, it will be hard i know, but you will find the inner strength to say the right thing i'm sure,hoping it all goes better than you expect, take care and HUGS.

[ramanth]

Good luck Kelly!!!

[Alysser]

I just read the whole thread, and I am saddened that you had such a hard time at home. Hope all goes well for you!!! I will be waiting for updates.

[Karen]

My whole church has you in our prayers, Kelly! And our pastor has four cats, so I'm sure they're included.