Desperate Help Needed - Noah

[NoahsMommy]

*Basically, I got 4 missed calls from him during the day. I got 3 voicemails (that I just later deleted without listening to) from him. I get in the car after the spa sessions (soooooo wonderful, btw, JUST what the Doc ordered! ) and call Kevin. I can tell from how he says, "hello" (that, and his multiple calls) that he's back in his "camping mood" - just what I DONT need.

Long story short (I promise this time), he tells me that he thinks I should TELL my mom that I'm leaving. When I ask 'why??' in my "are you CRAZY??' voice, he says, "Because, they gave you a place to live!" as if I'm some ungrateful child!

I'm sorry, but WHO THE HELL is HE to say that to me??? A flood, no, a million TIDAL WAVES came rushing through my brain of feelings and memories as if they'd been waiting for the action or words from Kevin that would just be IT. Done. Here they come and there's no backing up those waves! At once, I remembered everything I went through because of the *hit KEVIN pulled growing up - not normal brother stuff - we're talking I had ZERO social life because Kevin was the bad boy who needed constant supervision and thus had to have someone at home for him in case of ANYTHING, so guess who HAD to be stuck at HOME every summer from 5th grade to 12th grade? I lost so many friends - what teenage wants to stay at someone's house all the time??? All the stuff he pulled, landed BOTH of us on our "dad hates us" list. I've covered for him for years and years. When he'd get in trouble while I was home and he was out doing whatever he wanted, I'd get in trouble as I was supposed to "guess" when he was being bad....ect.etc.etc. That is just ONE example of all the crap they pulled on me! I've "gotten over it" in that I accept it as poor education on my mom's part and that one day, Kevin will thank me for all I've done for him. Guess I hafta figure out how to get over it again, huh??

I guess I've resented them both for ruining my childhood, but Kevin was a mixed up kid. Now that he's older, he just, well is becoming a loser. I was shocked that he didn't see my side - I've always been there for HIM and took his side because he was my brother. Now, when I'm FINALLY able to get out on my own - a feat that has been impossible with my body causing my life to crash down around my ears - he acts as though our wonderful, perfect mother is the victim in all this! That I, the only one that's had his back since Day 1, am the ungrateful one.

Why? Is it because I'm finally, for the first time, thinking of myself for a change? If thats ungrateful....that good, I'll be it. If it means being free and clear of the not only TOXIC, but truly mean people, then you can call me whatever you want!

I'm sad that I have to loose him too. He's said he'll help me with whatever I need help with...and promises not to tell my mom. But, we'll see.

I'm just so ready for it to be 2/2. I'll be HOME, finally and with my kitties - all four - and with a new roomie! Then on 2/3, we'll wake up together - one meowmie, one ball of kitty in OUR bed, finally.

And I'll have gotten through it...because my PT Family is fabulous and wonderful and the family God found for me.

Thank you all so very much!!!

Love you ALL,
Kelly, Noah, Basie, Phoebe & My Micah

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

[NoahsMommy]

Hey guys,

I have a call into Balcom to check on the balance...now that I'm thinking, I made a call to them on Saturday inquiring about the same thing that they haven't returned. Hmm....I think I'll call back again. Pestering usually works!

I'll let you know what I find out as soon as I know it.

Hugs,
Kelly and our Spa Resident (not for long, buddy, better soak up all that Spa-ness while you can, you're coming HOME baby kitten!!! ), Noah-kins

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Kelly - stop worrying about your brother, your parents, your grandma and start concentrating on you!!!!

[Laura's Babies]

No wonder you get so sick. That is such a toxic family that you should do what your brother did and get out and cut off all communications. I wouldn't trust him to keep quiet about you moving out either much less showing up on moving day. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and hope this all comes off without a hitch and you get some peace in your life.

[NoahsMommy]

Kelly - stop worrying about your brother, your parents, your grandma and start concentrating on you!!!!

No wonder you get so sick. That is such a toxic family that you should do what your brother did and get out and cut off all communications.

You both are 100% correct. I KNEW I'd start "feeling bad" getting close to move date, and I knew I'd need you all to remind me WHY I'm getting the H*LL out of there.

Thank you!!

P.S. I called Balcom this morning and left a message to please leave the balance on my voicemail if I'm unable to pick up my phone when they call. So at least I can give you a balance update on Noah James. YAY! I also told them I'm coming to pick him on/around 2/2 and needed to see if that is an "OK" day for pickup. (They have certain days you can drop off and pick up. I think Saturday is OK for pickup, but don't want any surprises!

[moosmom]

Kelly,

I am so proud of you, honey. You've come so very far. I think being away from such toxicity is going to be just what the doctor ordered.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

Huge (((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))

DONNA

[Pawsitive Thinking]

I KNEW I'd start "feeling bad" getting close to move date, and I knew I'd need you all to remind me WHY I'm getting the H*LL out of there.

Its only natural - when you leave somewhere or someone you tend to only remember the goods bits but if you ever doubt you are doing the right thing picture yourself still living there this time next year reading back on this thread...........

[NoahsMommy]

You are so right, thank you!! (((Hugs)))

************************************************** **

Noah Uppydate:

OK, a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE THANK YOU to all my PT Family who helped get Noah's balance to a manageable size...and to all those that are constantly here for me and my kitties...Thank you all so very much!!! For everything!!

Noah's balance when I pick him up will be $260.00 on Saturday 2/2 between 2:00 and 4:00 pm! You guys are so amazing....I mean, there truly was no other place for my Noah. For those that had the uh, pleasure (??) of meeting Mr. Noah Nawtee Cat, know that there is no way I could have inflicted him on anyone. Of course he picks NOW to finally come around. Silly boy! But that'll work in our favor with Kristin and he needs to be nice to her, especially! So, I guess it all worked out, right??

I cannot, will not be able to convey how much I love you guys, how much you've done for me and my kitties. The support alone, that you knew I was doing the right thing - when everyone else (nearly) in my life thought I was CRAZY! to keep my kitties, no matter what it took. I KNEW I'd be at this point...and I'm almost there.

OK, I probably should get something done at work.

Hugs, Love & Gratitude FOREVER,
Kelly & Noah

[carole]

Kelly the reason you are feeling bad nearer your shift, is because you are such a loving person, that even after everything your family has put you through ,you still have compassion,something they seem truely lacking in.

I am so excited for you,please try and find that inner peace and harmony within yourself, and DONOT by any means feel even the smallest amount of guilt about leaving, you are not being ungrateful,you know they are the ones missing out in life,they should consider themselves honoured to have such a wonderful daughter,why on earth they cannot see it is beyond me.

You take much care now, and relax sweetie, times ahead are going to be good.

[ramanth]

You can do it Kelly! Keep focused on YOU! You and your kitties are what matter.

*HUGS*