I need help....

[catnapper]

Just a real quick update.....

She's gone. Left this morning. Refuses to tell us WHERE she's going. Took Cam.

Yesterday I made a phone call which resulted in someone calling Social Services. Lets see if something happens there. Hubby is calling Social Services Tuesday.

Will give more detail later - I can;t say much right now.

[joycenalex]

edited to add- this is my mistake and not correct, i confused 2 PT-ers.- dear kim, hugs for you, and prayers for cams' protection. does she have legal custody of cam? due to her legal problems, i seem to recall the other grandmother had legal custody: if so has an amber alert been filed? i am so sorry she has done this to him. joyce

[pitc9]

OMG... she took Cam with her.....

I'm so sorry you and your hubby are being put through all of this.

I pray for you all and for Cam's safe return.
{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}

[kimlovescats]

Oh Kim, this is dreadful! One time when my daughter moved away and I had Jenna, the "father" showed up and was supposed to just be getting Jenna for a visit. He kept her and would not bring her back to me! I went to his house and almost assaulted him! I called the police and they went in to do a quick "home check" (they had quickly flushed their drugs) and I had to leave without Jenna. "HE" is her legal guardian and if the mom isn't availabe he rightly gets her! Calling social services is the BEST thing you can do right now! SO STICK WITH IT! The best you can hope for is to win temporary custody of Cam while she is "getting her act together".

PRAYERS AND HUGS! Call me if you need to!

Kim

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Although it won't seem like it at the time this may have been the best thing for her to do - as Catty said this may just kick start the process of her getting the help she needs.

Expect she will slink back soon when she wants something

[Edwina's Secretary]

I am just curious. Isn't the child hers? How can Social Services get involved if she left with her own child? Not a judgment, just a question.

[kimlovescats]

I am just curious. Isn't the child hers? How can Social Services get involved if she left with her own child? Not a judgment, just a question.

Sara, you are correct! See my post just 2 above yours.

[NoahsMommy]

I am just curious. Isn't the child hers? How can Social Services get involved if she left with her own child? Not a judgment, just a question.

I was kinda wondering this as well. Since her prior behavior has NOT been reported, what can SS do? What can the police do?

Granted, I'm sure there is a lot I don't know...so I hope this doesn't sound like a negative question. I'm just wondering too.

LOTS of prayers going to the family...to each member...that things will right themselves. That she'll come home with her little one. Home is a MUCH better, safer, and more loving option than her just up and running with a little one with little to no plans.

Hugs for you, Kim. I'm sure you're having to be not only the brains here, but also the support for your hubby. Be strong, you can do it.

I'm here too....if you want to talk.

Hugs, Love & Prayers,
Kelly

[Catty1]

I think her hospitalization can be reported, and info on her lifestyle that led her there (if the doctors know anything). And - reports about what she has done before from members of the family.

If questions are asked about why no one called, it's because she did have an appt booked with a psychiatrist this month - so there was hope.

I don't know legally what an employer can say - but if she has been through jobs fairly frequently, then that says something. And unless she can prove she had enough money to support her and Cam on their own - could her running off with him be construed to be some form of neglect?

I pray Cam is found unharmed.

[kimlovescats]

dear kim, hugs for you, and prayers for cams' protection. does she have legal custody of cam? due to her legal problems, i seem to recall the other grandmother had legal custody: if so has an amber alert been filed? i am so sorry she has done this to him. joyce

You are getting Catnapper Kim's story confused with mine. Catnapper's step-daughter has never lost custody of Cam. They've just lived with Kim and Grant since he was born. My daughter is the one who has lost custody of my grandbaby who is temporarily living with her other grandmother. Too bad there are so many of these heartbreaking cases just right here on PT.

In addition, so far she has not done anything "illegal" for the police to be looking for her. The first question out of their mouths will be "does she have legal custody ... is she the child's mother? Both of which the answer is "yes". They will then ask if Kim / Grant have a reason to believe that the child is in harm to which they can tell what they know. After that, the cops will most likely get Child Protective Services to contact Kim and Grant and take a report. I don't know that they or the police would still take the initiative to actually try to locate them though unless there were clear signs of physical abuse and a filed police report of such.

I'm not trying to shatter your hopes of this being "the answer," Kim, just sharing what I have learned. The legal guardians / parents always have the rights in a situation like this. It is very hard to do much of anything.

I pray that you have better luck with this than we did. As you said, your daughter most probably won't really want to take care of Cam for long and will return him to you. My daughter ended up doing something negligent by leaving Jenna home alone while she was napping. Eventually your daughter will mess up too, I just pray it is not in a way that is harmful to little Cam.

[Catty1]

Originally Posted by lizbud
Catty1, this statement is a bit" over the top", don't you think? Young
women leaving the family home to strike out on their own is not a police
matter. Doesn't matter if it's a good idea or not.

That's up to the police, IMO.

Young women often have their families involved with a legitimate 'move out on their own.' They know they can support themselves, and have things in place.

This young women does not seem to have a history of thinking ahead. What if she has another collapse from her lifestyle and is back in hospital?

I suspect Cam will be returned to the grandparents, as it will get too much for her (catnapper has said as much). She never contributed any of her earnings to Cam's wellbeing. None.

I do not think 'striking out on her own' will suddenly change all that.

JMO

[joycenalex]

wow, i'm sorry i got got kimlovescats' and catnappers' hard times mixed up. , i'm going back to edit my post from yesterday.

[lizbud]

In addition, so far she has not done anything "illegal" for the police to be looking for her. The first question out of their mouths will be "does she have legal custody ... is she the child's mother? Both of which the answer is "yes". They will then ask if Kim / Grant have a reason to believe that the child is in harm to which they can tell what they know. After that, the cops will most likely get Child Protective Services to contact Kim and Grant and take a report. I don't know that they or the police would still take the initiative to actually try to locate them though unless there were clear signs of physical abuse and a filed police report of such.

. The legal guardians / parents always have the rights in a situation like this. It is very hard to do much of anything.

I agree. You've said it better than I.

[catnapper]

I haven't been able to respond lately but I have been reading the responses.

You have no idea how different this house feels. Its completely night and day. No stress. No tension. Its simply WONDERFUL. The crappy thing is we're missing Cameron in the worst way. And there's nothing we can legally do about it. All we can do is report her to child services and cross our fingers that she won't put a snow job on them. Ashley is a fantastic liar and manipulator. Her newest boyfriend has been spending every night on our sofa for the past two weeks because, as she claimed to hubby, "he has been fighting with his mom" Quite a few times over the past two weeks, she picked him up from a bar drunk. We have the feeling he's been camping out on our sofa not because of fighting with his mom, but because she told him she's being abused here. Nobody EVER laid a hand on her. SHE of course HAS hit US. Any bodily injury she might have received was in defense or to stop her from going off the deep end.

She left the house with 95% of her stuff.... and hardly anything for Cam. No bottles, no pacifier, barely any clothes. Not his favorite blankie, and no toys (with one or two exceptions). And most of all: no crib. WHERE is this boy sleeping? It all makes me think she had plans on sending him elsewhere while she begins a new life for herself. I feel she might have given him to his father. At least he's safer there. I don't trust the father but I do trust his grandmother, who lives there.

She took Cam simply to spite us. She doesn't want him. The more she tried to proove she can care for him herself the past few weeks, the more she confirmed she CAN'T. She is too interested in text messaging people that she ignores him... one night he was wandering around with a meat carving knife and she had no idea. She left him alone in the shower, with the shower running and a few inches of water. She leaves him wandering around the downstairs while she does laundry, gets dressed, goes to the bathroom, etc. She says "its only for a minute!" but she has no idea what trouble a toddler can get into unwatched for a mere 15 seconds. Total neglect in my eyes. We have been doing our best to keep him safe by being here to watch her watching him. Now she's gone and we can't do that --- he's no longer safe at all.

We still haven't heard anything from her. We still have no idea where she went. We'll just tell Child Services they can find her at work. We'll tell anyone looking for her to find her at work. They won't be too keen on that after a while since she doesn't have a direct line.

We will tell Child Services everything. I have photos of her that aren't too good for her (Hubby face when she hit him, her dancing on a nightclub bar, an email she sent random guys of her posing nude for them, and so on) They will get my journal, the photos and emails. They will have to do a psych evaluation of her.... hopefully she doesn't lie her way through it. She's been lying so long that she herself has no idea what the truth is any longer.

Please keep poor Cam in your prayers. Hubby and I don't need it but Cam sure does. We want him back, but his mom can stay far away. Hubby doesn't want her back at all. All this while, he's been tolerating her behavior because he knew as long as she stayed here, Cam was safe. He only had concern for Cam, but he was missing the big picture that t he stress and environment wasn't good for Cam either. Sigh.

[jenluckenbach]

Kim, Can you talk with Cam's real father and his mom and family and alert them to be on the lookout for Cam. You should be working TOGETHER! Let them know Cam is welcome back with You and Grant and that you are worried. You may not like Cam's dad, but at this point HE has to be better than "mom" is.