I need help....

[moosmom]

Kim,

You know I love you and you're one of my best cyberfriends, so when I say this, I mean it wholeheartedly and with good intentions...

Y'ALL NEED TO GO TO A SHRINK!!!

(((((HUGS)))))) to you honey. Call me anytime.

[catnapper]

Kim,

You know I love you and you're one of my best cyberfriends, so when I say this, I mean it wholeheartedly and with good intentions...

Y'ALL NEED TO GO TO A SHRINK!!!

(((((HUGS)))))) to you honey. Call me anytime.

Awww sweetie, you made me smile. She does have an appointment at the end of the month. Her insurance stinks (doesn't all of ours?) and thats the earliest appt she could get. Personally I think she needed to tell them she's SEVERELY depressed and acting out... she'd have gotten one a week ago if she did. I know all of her behavior is based on depression. I've been there and understand what she's feeling. I know the feeling of "no matter what I do I'm wrong" and "everyone is out to get me" and "Nobody understands me!" etc. I KNOW what she's feeling. What I don't know is HOW nobody else but me saw it all along and nobody else but me said she needed help (I've said it since she was 12)

Now, it is exciting that she has an appointment in 2 weeks. I'm hoping they give her medicine AND weekly sessions. I'm hoping they point out I'm the one who has stood by her more than anyone else. I'm the one who offered a parental role to her when she needed it most. She might not like everything I had/have to say but its all with the intentions of keeping her safe from doing stupid things that would hurt herself.

PS: As for her hurting the cats. Thats not going to happen. She actually likes the cats and she knows hubby's reaction will be worse than mine. She knows those cats are his best friends and she knows by doing anything to harm even a whisker would be sheer suicide on her part.

[jennielynn1970]

PS: As for her hurting the cats. Thats not going to happen. She actually likes the cats and she knows hubby's reaction will be worse than mine. She knows those cats are his best friends and she knows by doing anything to harm even a whisker would be sheer suicide on her part.

Wait... so Grant will go to bat and protect the cats, but won't back you up??? That's messed up, lol.

[caseysmom]

Kim, Do you think it could be post partum depression? That can be very serious, and mom's have done horrible things that suffer from it.

[catnapper]

Kim, Do you think it could be post partum depression? That can be very serious, and mom's have done horrible things that suffer from it.

I think she had depression thats been untreated for years, but I think post partum is making it worse.

You have no idea how long I've said she needs help. I could tell immediately that she needed help but nobody else thought so.... well except his sister who suffers from bi-polar disorder. She has been the only one who agreed with me about everything from the beginning.

I really do feel for the girl. But I also want to strangle her at the same time. I'm hoping meds and therapy will turn her around. I've said since we were first married that she'd be the weak point in our relationship. My exact words were "she'll be the death of me"

[caseysmom]

I hope they help I have taken my daughter to two counselers and she acts all normal when we go so nothing is ever done.

[catnapper]

Wait... so Grant will go to bat and protect the cats, but won't back you up??? That's messed up, lol.

Sad but true. He honestly thinks he IS protecting all of us. He is so lost... he basically walks around in a funk wondering where he went wrong raising his kids. I swear he needs the meds too, but he refuses. He says "get over it"

[NoahsMommy]

Kim,

First, this is your home, your life...so I'll support you in whatever you feel is right.

Second, I don't know if you know who Dr. Laura is...but she sounds a lot like the "Meanest Mom in the World" ad. She is very, very, very ethical and is a no nonsence type of woman. She has a radio show and is a pyschologist. One day a man called in to say that his step-son had gotten voilent with his wife, the boys mother. This boy was around 15 or 16 and seemed to have no other father figure until this step dad came along...so he obviously had some issues. Anyway, Dr. Laura had some EXCELLENT advice in my opinion.

She said to go on living as though this kid DOES NOT EXIST. The entire parental unit MUST do this. You do not make food, do laundry, look at, touch, smell, go near...even WALK OVER this kid...or address this kid AT ALL. 100% of the time as far as you and hubby are concerned, she does NOT EXIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This will show your horribly misbehaved, ungrateful 'child' that unless she treats everyone in the family with the respect and care they deserve, she is DEAD to you all. I know it sounds harsh, but if you think about it, its a WONDERFUL idea. You'll have to let her cry, kick, scream, complain, yell, etc. The ONLY time you'll entervene is if she's voilent and she tries to hurt others. Then you would make sure that victim is safe and call 911. Be factual, honest and don't get emotional. Don't give ANY attention to this "child" whatsoever, for ANY reason. She can figure out how to feed and cloth herself. If you all as a family go ANYWHERE, she doesn't get included, she is INVISIBLE....she does NOT EXIST.

I trust Dr. Laura 150%....more than that even when it comes to advice on how to raise children because she ALWAYS has their interests at the very top of her heart.

The only problem I see you facing is having hubby comply. But...if he's good at ignoring the bad, he can ignore ALL of his child. Tell him it'll help her...maybe that'll work??? I don't know the entire situation, we all don't, so I can only hope and pray this would work. Its kind of what you do now as far as talking to her...just kick it up to the extreme.

Hugs, Love and Support,
Kelly

[NoahsMommy]

Re: the tactic I wrote about in my above post....

I've also seen this done on 'Super Nanny' and 'Nanny 911' and it WORKS beautifully!!! If she's going to act like a 2-year old behaviorlly, treat her like one - like she doesn't exist.

Acknowledging her behavior is buying into it.

[jazzcat]

Kim, I'm just now seeing this but while I was reading about what has happened in your house and how she has been acting I was thinking to myself either she is on drugs or she needs some phychological help. I see you said she has been suffering from deperession and that a family member is bi-polar. Could she be bi-polar? I don't know a whole lot about it but from what I do know it sounds like the outburst/rage could be that.

[carole]

I am happy to hear she has made an appointment, she obviously know's she needs help and that is the first step in the right direction,until she ask's for help there is little one can do,if depression is behind a lot of it,then i sincerely hope she has a good counsellor who will deal with it appropriately.

Are you sure it is all depression though,could some of it be just bad behaviour, i guess time will tell, if she is given meds and help and improves drastically you will know that for sure, i wish you all the luck in the world, and hope things get better in your household and fast, HUGS.

[catnapper]

I don't know whats going on anymore. I do know hubby is at the end of his rope. I just spoke with him.... him sounding like a whipped puppy, me in near tears because we (the "grown child" and I) had another fight this afternoon. I had the immense nerve to tell her to get up off the sofa and go look for a full-time job like she promised her dad she would.... she quit school and the deal was that she work full-time in a different place than where she's currently working. Shame on me for making her dis-entangle herself from the boy-du-jour and do something other than wrap herself around a random guy who will be replaced next week. I didn't scream, I didn't accuse. I simply and calmly told her that she needed to get up and do something other than lounge around all day.

I left the house to run errands and hubby called me asking what I said to her... apparently she called him tried to tell him I blasted her. I was too mad at the time to really talk so I waited to talk with him a few hours later, which we just did. I was holding back tears. All I'm trying to do is HELP HER. He said we'll all sit down tonight (by the time I get home from work it'll be a week from now) and talk that this is getting ridiculous (YA THINK!?!?! )

I CAN NOT WAIT til her doctor's appointment. All I can do is pray she's honest with the doctor and that she gets the right meds first time out of the gate. Heck, I'm ready to grind up a few of my Zoloft pills into her Vitamin Water just to get the ball rolling. (yeah, I know I can't do that... still fun to dream about it ) I seriously hope she gets it right and like Laura's friend, realize just what she put us through while she was unstable.

What gets me is I am her #1 enemy.... and I am the very one person in this house who all along has been trying to keep her safe. I've been the one who's been here for everything for her. I was the one who sat by her bedside in the hospital. I'm the one who took her to numerous doctor appointments. I'm the one who did all of the crappy jobs nobody else was willing to do for her. and what do I get as repayment? All her pent-up anger and resentment. This stinks

[catnapper]

Just a real quick update.....

She's gone. Left this morning. Refuses to tell us WHERE she's going. Took Cam.

Yesterday I made a phone call which resulted in someone calling Social Services. Lets see if something happens there. Hubby is calling Social Services Tuesday.

Will give more detail later - I can;t say much right now.