I need help....

[Karen]

Kim, dear one, I know you love your husband, and family, but this situation warrants serious action, and now. If your hubby won;t do anything, you need to, and if it means getting the police involved, please do so. This is for your own sake, for Cameron's sake, and for the animals' sake, not to mention the other humans in the house.

You will be in our prayers. Something needs to change - and NOW - and it has apparently fallen on you to be the catalyst.

You can do this. We'll all be with you in spirit.

[Grace]

I agree with those who say - call the police. This type of behavior can escalate into something more serious.

[Twisterdog]

I agree as well. Call the police and press charges.

As you know, I have a similar situation with my step-children. Although they are not physically violent, they are spoiled little monsters whom their father cannot discipline.

I am attempting to stick it out until they are all 18. (They are 17 and 15 now.) I do not know if I will make it, frankly.

I told my husband before we got married, in no uncertain terms, that I tolerate absolutely zero physical abuse. If he ever hit me or any of the kids, even his own, I would be on the phone to the police in a second. And I also told him if any child ever raised a hand to me, I would do the same. I meant it.

You can't keep living like this. You have gone above and beyond the "duty" of a step-parent. You have put up with enough. Too much. NO ONE can ever say you didn't try, you tried more than most people would have. Take care of YOU. Your husband will more than likely follow your lead. A wake up call is long overdue.

I know this is a strongly worded post, and I hope you don't take offense. But, PLEASE, enough is enough. These "kids" are not really even kids anymore. You are taking abuse and nonsense from adults, basically, and getting no support from your spouse to end it. Please, take care of YOU. PM me. If you need a place to go or a plane ticket, I'll get you one.

[caseysmom]

I think you need to put your foot down Kim and I know its hard but you are just as important of a part in the whole sceme of things as your husband, whomever is doing this needs a wake up call. Big hugs it must be hell.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

I would pack my bags & leave.

That was my first thought too - put some distance between them and you and let them get on with it

[jennielynn1970]

Been thinking on this one, and while I agree in a sense to the packing your bags and leaving... I don't know that I would. That's your home. You have every right to be there and live free of harm and abuse. So does your husband. So do his kids. Everyone in that household has that right. Should someone take that right away from you, whether they are minors or whether they are adults, they need to know that it will not be accepted.

If Grant won't do it, then it's gotta come from you. You are his wife. You are their step mother. You are legally responsible for the health and welfare of those kids in that home who are under the legal age of an adult. If there is another adult in that house who is endangering them, causing physical or emotional abuse, neglect, what have you, they need to face the consequences. If Grant can't be the responsible one, and shame on him when these are his kids, and as a teacher he wouldn't accept it in his classroom, so why in his own home?! He's a large intimidating guy, a force to be reckoned with. He needs to be responsible for the minors in the household and even if Ashley is a minor, even more reason, get her butt straightened out. Tough love baby. It's gotta happen.

Who is the adult in the house?? Who makes the rules?? Grant should know the answers to those questions, and they better be GRANT AND KIM. If they aren't the answers he gives, then he needs to take a parenting course, and also rethink what kind of example he's setting for the kids he teaches.

[Lizzie]

I don't believe Kim would leave without taking Cam with her. If she did that, she would run the risk of losing the right to see him, at least for a time. The police or an attorney seem to be the only routes to take to make a change for the better for the whole family. Counseling is only really beneficial if the whole family participates, and only the law will force the other members of this family into counseling. Sorry, Kim, you will have to look like the bad guy in order to be the good guy.

[jenluckenbach]

Kim, YOU need to do something, whether you like it or not. Leaving home is probably EXACTLY what would make these "kids" happy! I doubt it would make them feel bad enough to "change their ways". And I doubt it would help Grant grow a spine! (although it is nice to think that it would). So, if you want to keep your family, you are going to have to stick it out. But you will have to lay down the law.


First off, if the injured sibling is a minor then it is your DUTY to react accordingly. What if the injured party was the baby? (I am not suggesting that anyone would willingly hurt Cam, but the truth is, it COULD happen).

You cannot change Grant if he does not want to change. You cannot change these "kids" if they also do not want to change. But you CAN protect yourself, and the innocents that live under your roof.

Since there seems to be no way to make friends with these "kids" then I say give up trying. Stand firm on YOUR rights! Your right to be safe in your own home, for example.

Since no one in your house grants you any authority, you will be on your own. You will have to think of yourself, Cam, Heather (as a minor) and the pets, FIRST! Do what you would do if a STRANGER hit you (or them). Don't wait for Grant to do it for you. And if that means get the police involved, then do it. But keep in mind, you won't have any witnesses. It'll be YOUR word....I guarrentee no one will back you up, so be able to prove the allegations.

Personally, I would just sit back and tell them to "deal with it!". As long as you, Cam and the animals are not injured, let them figure it out. That's it! that is how I would handle it.

I am sure I am no help, but I am hear to listen. I wish you would talk to me.