Well, I gotta put this somewhere...gentle vent?

[moosmom]

Candace,

Everything you've said hit very close to home. That's why I am not fond of holidays. It reminds me of how much of my family isn't here anymore and how much I miss them.

What YOU'VE described would certainly cause a meltdown.

Call me anytime, Candace and I'll call ya back so we can talk.

((((((HUGS)))))

Donna

[Catty1]

Jenn...I don't think I have EVER worked for a company that has insurance for its workers. They've all been small - and I was self-employed for over 20 years (musician).

But I have the provincial plan, and pay extra for Blue Cross (thru the provincial plan) to cover my meds; my co-pay is 30% or $25 max, which is good!

I'll see if they might cover the SADD boxes. Thanks!

Moosmom - I relate. I have referred to my 'incredible shrinking family' over the past few years.

I would LOVE to hear how your Christmas was at Dr Goodnow's mom's place! That would cheer me a lot. Email is good, or if it's fit to post on PT that would be great too!

Thanks, folks...

[catnapper]

Oh Candace, you need a huge hug and I'm sending you lots of prayers. I know depression and how it makes you feel. I myself have finally found a job where I feel I completely fit in. I never had that before. I am making next to nothing but I love it so I'll keep hope of making bonuses and maybe a raise in February

Trust me, I found my job by sending my resume to some place I NEVER thought I would want to work.... in fact I met hubby who is as close to "perfect for me" as can be by stepping out of what I considered to be my type. Try sending resumes to jobs you never thought of enjoying. I thought my job would be "beneath me" but its the best job EVER. I thought my hubby was rough around the edges but he's the best guy ever (please remind me of that when I'm mad at him ) You never know what God has in store for you unless you try to step outside yourself and give something strange a try.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

playing music is nothing to me any more

Seems a shame to deprive the world of such a beautiful voice.........I still play your CD

I would like to add my prayers and best wishes too

[DJFyrewolf36]

I can totally feel what you're going through. I struggled with severe depression when I was younger (and still do from time to time). I've found that the more I got into music though, the more stable I felt. The location thing was a real bug for me...especially after losing Nina. I felt like I had nothing left except to leave the only place I had ever lived. Leaving was a good thing though, my brain is getting more centered although Ill admit it isn't easy lol. I still feel homesick and that I have a feeling will be a bit of a sore spot for a while.
The real thing is finding your center...finding what does make you happy. Thinking about even the smallest things that are good about each day is what gets me through times when I think I'm completely insane.

I don't know if much of my rambling makes sense (as I haven't gone to sleep yet...yay new years ) but if you need someone to chat with don't hesitate to IM me or send a PM. I'm here for you *HUGS!*