Freedom - so these 'experts' tell you what you 'shouldn't' have done. Do they have any bright ideas as to what you should do now?

Ask them, if for no other reason than to watch them stammer.

You might want to consult an Elder Lawyer in your area. It's a whole national organization in the USA.

K9 - don't slap yourself. I've done my share of enabling, because the person's sickness is contagious...and I get it too, and that is how I act. Both people get sick, and the enabler doesn't even have to drink or use or do what the other person does. Google a support or al-anon group in your area and check it out.

HUGS