I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time this year. Depression is such a sneaky little thing. Stress, life, and a new baby can set anyone back.... but then the holidays makes everything worse. Sometimes you're too exhausted physically and mentally to do anything, then guilt about not wanting Christmas sets in and you feel even worse and more hopeless. Trust me, I know what you mean, as I was there last year. Take a holiday off and don't knock yourself out about it! A happy and healthy mom is more important than homemade cookies and red ribbons on presents.