I wish to make 2 comments.
First, this sentence:
To have a career in art, to be an artist makes complete sense.
You have it in there twice, so probably you should delete one.
Second: YOu final sentence. It starts with a negative. I think the sentence is OK, but your final sentence should end on a positive tone right through!
Why not make the first phrase: Not having a career in the art field would be incomplete.
a complete sentence, and you could even move it up to where you take out the other sentence? Then make what is left the final sentence and it ends on a positive tone.
Just my thoughts.
Best wishes for the review!
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