They came and took him! What do I do now? *UPDATE PAGE 5!*

**Catty1** · 08-16-2007, 09:53 PM

They said there is nothing they could do because their case is closed.

Charles has not even filed his own charges yet. He will have to report all this anyway when he is filing for custody.

I hope he can get some good legal advice that won't cost him too much. Does DHS or CPS not have one?

IF Stephanie is pregnant again...I am so sorry to say this, but because of what she said, I wonder if Charles is the father?

Your brother is very brave - I know he is hurting a lot, and he wanted to believe the best - but he is being brave and putting Nathan and himself first.

HUGS and prayers to all of you. And Stephanie too...she sure needs them.

**mrspunkysmom** · 08-17-2007, 12:01 AM

Oklahoma Legal Assistance

I hope this helps.

I searched for "Oklahoma Pro Bono Lawyers" and found the site.

It never hurts to ask.

**Karen** · 08-17-2007, 12:40 AM

I hope she is permanently out of Charles' and Nathan's life. What he described her doing is abuse, and Nathan is just fortunate he has family that DOES care. Stephanie sounds like a very selfish person, and no one who should ever be a parent, at least not until she's had some serious training/counseling/head-examination done!

And he shouldn't worry one minute about not finding another girlfriend because of having a child. Some women find that no impediment at all, and Nathan at least is still little and cute - practically a "babe magnet" and will be for some time to come.

**sumbirdy** · 08-17-2007, 10:55 AM

Originally Posted by Karen

And he shouldn't worry one minute about not finding another girlfriend because of having a child. Some women find that no impediment at all, and Nathan at least is still little and cute - practically a "babe magnet" and will be for some time to come.

Yep, thats what I've been trying to tell him. But this time he needs to take things a bit slower and not rush into marriage right away like he did with Stephanie...

**Catty1** · 08-17-2007, 11:05 AM

this time he needs to take things a bit slower and not rush into marriage right away like he did with Stephanie...

Absolutely! I hope he can visit with a counsellor and find out about "rebounding", that is, reattaching too fast when you're still getting over the last incident.

First - he needs a job and custody of Nathan. In fact, if he is getting 'parenting counselling', that will help his custody case.

Men reattach faster than women do! And this is REALLY unfair to the new girlfriend!

You might want to copy, paste and print the following out for your brother when he has time to look at it:

Defining a Rebound Relationship:

A rebound relationship is one that occurs shortly after the break – up of a significant love relationship. If you are in a relationship but have distanced yourself emotionally from your relationship partner, you may begin a rebound relationship before you even leave the relationship you are in. If you move quickly from a long lasting relationship into another relationship then you are probably in a “rebound relationship.
Rebound Relationships Serve a Purpose:

A rebound relationship is a distraction. It is a connection to another person that keeps us from having to experience the full extent of the emotional pain of our resent break – up. It is a misguided attempt to move on with our lives. Many people will jump back into the dating scene because they fear being alone. It’s a quick fix, one in which we can drown out our pain by reveling in the emotional intensity and passion of a new found love. It can be a a lot more fun that dealing with the misery of a recently broken heart.
Great Expectations:

Don’t go into a rebound relationship expecting your new partner to make up for the shortcomings and mistakes of the old partner. I like to call this the “knight is shining armor syndrome.” You may have just come out of a relationship that involved infidelity or abuse so, you turn around and expect your new partner to be able to make up for the pain you experienced in the old relationship. More than likely, all you will do is exchange one set of problems for another.

**Catty1** · 08-17-2007, 11:07 AM

One more, Summer:

Persons are often distressed to learn that there should be a ‘time out’ from dating or future relationships when one relationship has ended. The rule of thumb is 6 months time-out for every 5 years of relationship. So if you were with someone (married or not) for 10 years that would suggest you take 1 year off from being in a relationship or dating. I get horrified reactions to that because most people think ‘just get your self back out there. The best way to get over someone is with someone else.’ Nothing could be further from the truth.

Many of my clients ended up in counseling with me because they did exactly that[went into a rebound relationship]. While still grieving from a previous relationship, they hooked up and made some bad choices in the selection of their next relationship which caused them even more problems and pain. When you are coming out of a relationship, you are in pain even if you aren’t acknowledging it, even if you wanted out of the relationship, even if you had planned for the ending of it. When we are in pain, we are not in our best decision-making mind. When issues of the previous relationship are not resolved, many people go on to choose someone just like the person in the relationship they ended.

**sumbirdy** · 08-19-2007, 02:31 PM

Charles is doing odd jobs for the man down the road. Yesterday he helped him with some hay. He's going to save up his money to get a car so he can go out and get an acual job. I know he's still hurting and that is to be expected (it hasn't even been a week yet)

Nathan walked a few steps by himself today (or actually ran a few steps

) We noticed he could stand by himself for about 5 seconds so Charles let Nathan hold on to him while he walked a few steps and then I held my arms out to him and Charles let go and he ran the few steps to me. Nathan was smiling so big.

It won't be long now before he's running all over the house and getting into even more stuff.
I'm so happy that he is home and you can tell that he is to.

**Catty1** · 08-20-2007, 01:04 AM

This is so great - he is back with you, and his dad is there too!

Charles - poor guy, really...how fantastic that he has his family.

( I hope you-know-who doesn't start lies and try to get Nathan back! Of course, this time, Nathan's dad will stand up for him.

)

HUGS!

**chocolatepuppy** · 08-20-2007, 06:22 AM

I hope Charles stays away from that woman and Nathan stays safe with your family. You'll be in my prayers.

**Pawsitive Thinking** · 08-20-2007, 09:40 AM

Its good that Nathan has his dad and is back in a safe and loving home. Good luck to you all

**sumbirdy** · 08-20-2007, 11:04 PM

Thank you all. I'm so happy he is here to. And Charles will go to the local vocational school next Monday to do some kind of orientational training. Charles is doing a lot better than he was last week.
Charles will be filing for a divorce in October and will be fighting for sole custody of Nathan. I'm sure Charles has a good chance of getting it since Stephanie has such a bad record and violent history and Charles doesn't have a record at all.