They came and took him! What do I do now? *UPDATE PAGE 5!*

**sumbirdy** · 07-23-2007, 01:49 PM

Well, I got to see Nathan today, and hold him. But for only like 2 minutes. The other county has dropped their charges on Stephanie so she no longer has a warrant out for her. (They dropped the day after we filed charges, which seems a little fishy) Charles said we could come by and see Nathan. Mom couldn't bear seeing him but not being able to take him home so dad stayed in the car while I went to their door. Nathan acted like a totally different child. He acted like he didn't know me and I didn't see him smile once. (He always smiles for strangers, he loves people) He had a slight reddish rash on his face. Charles wanted to take him out to the car to see my parents but Stephanie wouldn't let him. She thought we were just going steal him (we're not that stupid) so she tried to take him from my arms but I wouldn't (couldn't) let him go. She threatened to call the police (what would they have done? Charles invited me there and Nathan is my nephew. Besides the house is under Charles' name, not hers) I finally had to let Nathan go because she was tugging so hard I thought she would hurt him. I told her that if she cared about him she would have got him a long time ago (like when they got a house) She just said "Whatever". She didn't even say that she did care for Nathan. Then she went inside with Nathan and starting cursing Charles and screaming at him.
I will never forget that look in Nathan's eyes. Like someone who has seen so much. And he's only a little over a year old. That's sad.
I feel so helpless, like there's nothing we can do and it's so physically and emotionally draining. I told Charles that if he didn't make things better (not necessarily by giving Nathan to us, but letting us be freely able to see him and take him places like out to get ice cream, the zoo, or over to our house for the weekend, normal stuff that grandparents and aunts should be able to do with their grandchildren and nephew/niece) then he lost his parents, sister, and probably brother too. She has said so much about us, lies and hurtful things, and he never once stood up for us, he just let it happen. He said he is trying to make things right but I don't believe him anymore. As far as I'm concerned I only have one brother and his name isn't Charles. I would leave someone who has talked about my parents the way she has. My sister-in-law, Dana said that if she said half the things about my parents that Stephanie has then she would expect Bobby (my oldest brother) to leave her. But Charles just stands by us and lets her say these things, lets her crush us. Then he trys to say he loves us. I don't believe that.
It's been a very bad day. All hope seems to be lost but I love Nathan so much that I will never give up on this. Like I have said before, I will fight until he is 18. I will know where he is at (not stalking, just knowing his location and if he's safe and happy) I want to keep up with his well-being. I will not let her win. I cannot let her win. This is not over.

**sumbirdy** · 07-24-2007, 12:51 PM

This is the last post I will be posting on this thread unless something drastically changes. I have to face the fact that Nathan is more than likely never coming back (not even to visit) and also that he is Charles' child and Charles will have to deal with the emotional problems of a little boy who never feels a mothers love and sees her scream at his father (and more than likely him) and lash out and hit. The system (child welfare) is so screwed up. We had told them we seen her abuse him in November but they said it "has to have been more recent" so basically he has to be hurt before they will do anything. They've heard things from countless people (even people who work for them) that have told them how she is and how she cannot control her anger and how she is violent but overall it is up to the person that is over everybody to say if they go get him...and she says no. Basically he has to be beaten first. This place obviously doesn't look at emotional abuse. If you had seen Nathan when he was living here and then again yesterday you would have seen a big difference. It is obvious, so incredibly obvious, that he is not happy and that he has already been emotionally abused. Now it is only a matter of time, when Stephanie thinks it is all over and she is no longer being watched, that the physical abuse will start. (Well, actually, continue since it already started when she was living with us) It is up to Charles to protect him and keep his safe and I'm not sure that he will.
I'm going to use my mental Backspace button to delete Charles from ever being my brother and Stephanie from ever entering my life. But I cannot delete Nathan. I will think of him everyday, I will always worry about him and what she has done. Please keep Nathan in your prayers. Pray that she will not hurt him too bad (preferably not at all, but I know that she will) Please keep us in your thoughts as well, that we will move on, that we will continue to survive and live. Because honestly right now the thing I want to do the most is just go to sleep...and never...never wake up.

**joycenalex** · 07-24-2007, 06:15 PM

i am so sorry that this has happened. i will keep nathan and you and your family in my prayers

**Catty1** · 07-24-2007, 06:22 PM

I will keep you and Nathan in my prayers, Sumbirdy. I thought your Dad had applied for custody...I hope something can still be worked out.

Up around here, I believe that Family Services HAS to investigate a complaint, even if anonymous.

If you guys could go visit once again - hide a tape recorder. That might be the only thing you could do.

**Alysser** · 07-24-2007, 06:27 PM

Aw, I'm so sorry sumbirdy. Regardless, I'll still be thinking of you.

**Karen** · 07-24-2007, 06:41 PM

Keep that journal going, some day you'll be able to give it to him, even if you have to wait until he's 18.

We have a friend who one day, out of the blue, got a phone call. It was from his nephew, that his sister had had taken away by DSS years and years before. DSS was right to do so, she never took care of, barely fed, changed, etc. her kids, moved in with her brothers and expected them to do so. Well, 13 years later, our friend got a phone call, and his nephew had been adopted and raised by a nice family, was a teenager, and decided to try to find his uncles. They reconnected and have a nice relationship now.

**crow_noir** · 07-25-2007, 12:14 AM

*hugs*

I'm so sorry all of this has happened. I feel so scared for Nathan. For now all i can do is try and send protective white light for him and say prayers.

**sumbirdy** · 08-01-2007, 11:23 PM

Guess who's here?! NATHAN!!!!! Well, he's only here until Monday. Charles finally put his foot down and said that she can't keep Nathan away from his extended family (especially since we are the only family he has known for all his life) So he's here until Monday!!! Yay!!! I can't tell you how happy I am.
We're going to work out some arrangement. It's either going to be Nathan stays here for 5 days, there 10, he stays here for 5 days, there 7, or he stays here for 7 days, there 10. I don't know what it'll be. But this is better than nothing.
He has 7 teeth (two more from when he left here) and he can't take a couple of steps by himself. The only thing really different is that it's harder to get him to smile. I've attached pics and I couldn't get him to smile (before he would smile at anything) And he's got flea bites all over him. I think these five days will be a welcome break from all the screaming he probably hears every day. This way he will know there are nice people in the world and not everyone yells.
*Sniff**Sniff* I smell poo.

I can't tell you how happy I'm going to be to change this poopy diaper. (Never thought I would say that)

**crow_noir** · 08-01-2007, 11:42 PM

* SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM *

OMG!!!! *hug* *spinny hug*

That is so freaken awesome!!! I know it's not the best case scenario but it's better than bleak.

I'm all teary eyed and sniffly now. I'm SO happy for you all.

**Karen** · 08-01-2007, 11:45 PM

Oh, yay! Congratulations most of all to Charles, for realizing, and for putting his foot down.

**Catty1** · 08-01-2007, 11:59 PM

That is AWESOME!!!!!

I hope there will still be some charges against Stephanie...and/or that Charles realizes Nathan should be with you folks most of the time if he just can't give him the care he needs all the time.

I hope your dad informs DSH about the flea bites...and less smiling....

Does your family still have an application for custody?

**sumbirdy** · 08-02-2007, 12:11 AM

Originally Posted by Catty1

That is AWESOME!!!!!

I hope there will still be some charges against Stephanie...and/or that Charles realizes Nathan should be with you folks most of the time if he just can't give him the care he needs all the time.

I hope your dad informs DSH about the flea bites...and less smiling....

Does your family still have an application for custody?

I don't think she has any charges against her and Charles has changed his story about how good of a mom she is (from bad to great) so many times that I don't know what he believes anymore.

We talked to DHS about him not being as happy but they said they can't go get him because he's not happy.

Dad was trying to get legal guardianship but found out he can't do that unless both parents sign their consent (even if she was in jail)

**sumbirdy** · 08-02-2007, 12:08 AM

I am so happy too! Stephanie was all in fake mommy mode when mom and dad got him. ( I didn't go with them) All teary eyed and saying she will miss him and stuff.

After 11 1/2 months of only seeing him about every 3 months or so (sometimes longer) and not even seeming to care when she was with him, she's not gonna make us believe this one. You don't just automatically switch from who gives a dang to perfect mommy. She tried to tell mom how to take care of him (like we hadn't raised him for nearly a year! And she didn't bother to ask us anything about him when they came and took him)
Anyway she's saying that she doesn't want him here every so often but Charles said that's the way it's gonna be and dang it we're going to hold him to it! Plus adult protective service was there to have a little chat with them and said they better make mom happy or they were pressing charges. I bet that scared 'em!
Nathan is so clingy now. Every time I try to put him to bed he cries and holds his arms up to me, so he's still awake (It's midnight here). I can't get enough of holding him.
We're having a late birthday party tomorrow.