Well, I got to see Nathan today, and hold him. But for only like 2 minutes. The other county has dropped their charges on Stephanie so she no longer has a warrant out for her. (They dropped the day after we filed charges, which seems a little fishy) Charles said we could come by and see Nathan. Mom couldn't bear seeing him but not being able to take him home so dad stayed in the car while I went to their door. Nathan acted like a totally different child. He acted like he didn't know me and I didn't see him smile once. (He always smiles for strangers, he loves people) He had a slight reddish rash on his face. Charles wanted to take him out to the car to see my parents but Stephanie wouldn't let him. She thought we were just going steal him (we're not that stupid) so she tried to take him from my arms but I wouldn't (couldn't) let him go. She threatened to call the police (what would they have done? Charles invited me there and Nathan is my nephew. Besides the house is under Charles' name, not hers) I finally had to let Nathan go because she was tugging so hard I thought she would hurt him. I told her that if she cared about him she would have got him a long time ago (like when they got a house) She just said "Whatever". She didn't even say that she did care for Nathan. Then she went inside with Nathan and starting cursing Charles and screaming at him.
I will never forget that look in Nathan's eyes. Like someone who has seen so much. And he's only a little over a year old. That's sad.
I feel so helpless, like there's nothing we can do and it's so physically and emotionally draining. I told Charles that if he didn't make things better (not necessarily by giving Nathan to us, but letting us be freely able to see him and take him places like out to get ice cream, the zoo, or over to our house for the weekend, normal stuff that grandparents and aunts should be able to do with their grandchildren and nephew/niece) then he lost his parents, sister, and probably brother too. She has said so much about us, lies and hurtful things, and he never once stood up for us, he just let it happen. He said he is trying to make things right but I don't believe him anymore. As far as I'm concerned I only have one brother and his name isn't Charles. I would leave someone who has talked about my parents the way she has. My sister-in-law, Dana said that if she said half the things about my parents that Stephanie has then she would expect Bobby (my oldest brother) to leave her. But Charles just stands by us and lets her say these things, lets her crush us. Then he trys to say he loves us. I don't believe that.
It's been a very bad day. All hope seems to be lost but I love Nathan so much that I will never give up on this. Like I have said before, I will fight until he is 18. I will know where he is at (not stalking, just knowing his location and if he's safe and happy) I want to keep up with his well-being. I will not let her win. I cannot let her win. This is not over.