My brother Bobby, sister-in-law Dana and baby Eli left at noon. It was really hard to see them go because they made things a little better. It was really hard for dad. When they had to leave, dad and Eli were taking a nap on dads bed. I woke dad up and he carried Eli out to his car seat and we all kissed him goodbye.
They drove from Deleware and had to go down to Texas to see a friend. They said that if we had Nathan when they were driving back up to Deleware then they would stop by to see him. I hope we have Nathan tomorrow. I miss him so much. I don't think I'll ever be able to let him go again. The caseworker said that if Charles is not with her and the baby when they pick her up then they will call us. She isn't going to go hunt for him. So I'm sort of hoping that Charles isn't there. The way Charles has been lately, saying that he isn't involved (how could he not be involved? His wife is deliberatly hurting and saying things about his parents, sister and brother.) anyway, I don't want Nathan with Charles either. I bonded with Nathan like he was my own (which I guess is natural when someone is taking care of a child for almost a year) so of course I want him back here. I want to be able to see him every day. To wake up to him laughing. To go to sleep to the rythm of him breathing. To fill my days with his baby chatter. I miss him unbearably.