Need your advice...

**moosmom** · 07-05-2007, 08:12 PM

I called her at work (she doesn't have a home phone as the phone company has shut it off for non-payment) and takes the bus to wherever she needs to go. I emphasized that a pet is a lifetime commitment. I asked her if she'd be able to afford it, should the cat get sick and she said yes. I just don't have a good feeling about this, as much as I like Barbara as a person.

She's going to have to get a pet on her own. If ANYTHING should happen to a pet I find for her, I'd never be able to live with myself. My gut instincts have never let me down yet.

**Pawla** · 07-05-2007, 08:17 PM

You should go with your gut instinct. I wish I could go with mine more often!

**Medusa** · 07-06-2007, 06:50 AM

Your instincts are telling you 'no'. She has no phone so if she runs into a snag w/Nelson, then there's the first problem. This is not a tough question for me. It's one thing to already have pets, then run into financial problems. I'd never consider giving up my furkids. But to take on more of a financial burden is unwise and unfair to Nelson. It's rehoming just waiting to happen. And if he's already at a shelter, then he's been through enough. We can't always let our hearts rule. Sometimes we have to use our heads. And this is one of those times, in my opinion.

**Catty1** · 07-06-2007, 10:12 AM

Have you asked her how she can afford a pet if she can't afford her phone?

She might be thinking more of her comfort and happiness than that of the cat's - and if that is the case, it's not a good balance.

JMO

**Medusa** · 07-06-2007, 12:04 PM

Y'know, after having read over my last post, I realized how smug I sounded when I said that I'd never consider giving up my furkids if I had financial problems, even though that isn't the question that you posed on this thread. I guess maybe I would consider it if it meant that I had no other choice and my cats would suffer the consequences if I kept them. I hope I didn't offend anyone w/that remark. We do what we have to sometimes, not what we want to.

**columbine** · 07-06-2007, 07:50 PM

If she took on Nelson and then he turned out to need lots of expensive care that she couldn't afford, her heart would be broken. I very much agree with the fostering option!

Love, Columbine

**rkidsrcats** · 07-06-2007, 08:27 PM

The Tribe agrees that fostering would be a good route for her. And the plus of her fostering is that she would be helping 2 cats...the one she fosters and the one she makes room for in the shelter when her foster comes to her house.

just our humble opinion....
The Tribe

**moosmom** · 07-06-2007, 10:58 PM

I asked a couple of supervisors at work (privately) and BOTH of them said that she has enough trouble caring for herself, let alone a pet. So, the answer is no. I'd never forgive myself if something should happen to a pet I helped her get.

**Catsnclay** · 07-07-2007, 12:07 AM

Good call, Donna!

**Callie** · 07-07-2007, 08:38 AM

She rides the bus to go wherever? To my knowledge, buses usually do not allow pets on board unless they're handicapped assistants. How would she transport a sick animal to the vets, assuming she could get vet care?

While I understand her needs, love isn't as much about your (her, in this case) needs as it is about caring for another and their needs. No cat needs to be in a place/home that cannot be depended upon to really care for the cat when it's called for.

If she truly desires to have a cat, then let this desire be the motivator for her to improve her financial circumstances in whatever way she can to make her dream come true.

Callie

**moosmom** · 07-07-2007, 05:11 PM

I told her that in order to adopt a cat, she'll have to fill out an application and, since she's had a cat in the past, will also need to provide a vet reference. She was a little annoyed at that. I also asked her if the cat gets sick in the middle of the night, how will she get it to the vet. She said she'd call a friend. She is bound and determine to get a cat. Having said that, I told her I'd take her to the CT Humane Society. They're adoption process is strict and I can tell you right now, if she can't produce the referencec they require, the will not adopt to her. I'm friends with the director of cat adoptions there and will call her and give her a heads up. I don't know what else I can do at this point. I just feel in my gut that it wouldn't be in the best interest of the animal.

**Catty1** · 07-07-2007, 05:48 PM

Well, at least if you let her try, she will find out. And perhaps someone can direct her to a life skills course (if she needs that) or a way to increase her income a bit.

That would give her a hand UP - and if she really wants a cat, might be the inspiration to motivate her.

EG "If you really want a cat, this is what you could do to increase your chances..." something like that.

But I don't know her, so...

I hope all works out!

**jennielynn1970** · 07-07-2007, 06:11 PM

Has she said what she'd do if the cat became sick and needed vet care? How she'd afford the vet care, and NOT have it PTS because she can't actually afford the cat?? Is she able to understand that she needs to do what is best for the pet and not what is best for herself???

Would either place allow her to foster a cat?? I think that is a good alternative.

Can you at least let her know that if she cannot take care of a pet, and it gets sick, it will suffer, and if she really cares about the pet, she won't get one till she can afford one??? Not that you lecture her, because I think that would make someone want to do the opposite even more... that's just the way a lot of people are.

Can you really try to drive home the option to foster, with her and with the shelter?? That would benefit them both.