Need some "legal" advice.....

[sasvermont]

This topic is a hot one for sure.

I can only say that I wish more people would have protected sex and not create as many problems for themselves.

What were they thinking when they were locking lips with some creep and now they are "with child"? What's wrong with this picture?

I have friends (single parents) and they are for the most part, doing just fine, but they have good jobs and supportive families and have thought through the rearing aspect of having a child or three.

It makes my head hurt to hear the struggles left with the men and women after having created a love child, if you will, for the sake of using birth control.

These situations usually take on a life of their own and all works out. Unfortunately, the children are the ones taking the brunt of it all, if it all falls apart.

Let me to take some more Tylenol for my head.

I love kids too much to create them and not have the means to support them etc. and to create them without fore thought.

(((((((((((((((((kids)))))))))))))))))))

[sandragonfly]

vela, I can feel you, parental damage - it took me a while to deal with this trauma. it's normal to feel that way afterall I didn't had parents, but it's better than living with a drunk father every night. safer and stronger. like I am today. that all will be up to the child later as well too.

I didn't had a mother.. I didn't had a father.. 16 years out of 20 and I don't care for them anymore now. why? if you ask because they never were my 'parents' like they were suppose to be. plus, because of the 'mother' and 'father' who I had taught me love. it's all about love and respect, not biography, violence or money. racing girl, it could be this, your new boyfriend who wants to be a father - not having the same DNA does not necessarily means the child is or will be disorder in any way, emotional, finanically or mental.

the day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes
an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.

that being said, and if the child in a later age doesn't understand that it was best s/he grows/grew up without a biography father, and with racing girl's love shown here, s/he will have the help s/he needs. on other hand, it also really depends on adoptive parents as well. and by the way, I don't think racing girl is shutting him out completely, just holding the door for now for how he's around his six year old daughter still.

marigold, I can agree with you on some of parts but I am not sure why you think those mothers are like her..

racing girl, I applaud you on this decision, and safety of the newborn baby - I would do the same, definitely. I am sorry he acts like this at stake and hopefully he will be father enough soon so the child even can have a better life. and a lot stress off you too. stay on strong and safe.. wishing all best for you and the baby. how is that exciting?? do you know the gender or desire name yet?

obviously, I'm not the mother yet so I don't know what month they can tell you the sex.

[Marigold2]

I totally agree. I also loved my children too much to have raised them in poverty. Kids deserve better.

This topic is a hot one for sure.

I can only say that I wish more people would have protected sex and not create as many problems for themselves.

What were they thinking when they were locking lips with some creep and now they are "with child"? What's wrong with this picture?

I have friends (single parents) and they are for the most part, doing just fine, but they have good jobs and supportive families and have thought through the rearing aspect of having a child or three.

It makes my head hurt to hear the struggles left with the men and women after having created a love child, if you will, for the sake of using birth control.

These situations usually take on a life of their own and all works out. Unfortunately, the children are the ones taking the brunt of it all, if it all falls apart.

Let me to take some more Tylenol for my head.

I love kids too much to create them and not have the means to support them etc. and to create them without fore thought.

(((((((((((((((((kids)))))))))))))))))))

[sparks19]

I totally agree. I also loved my children too much to have raised them in poverty. Kids deserve better.

But why OH Why do you think this child is going to be raised in poverty.... Of course no child should be raised on the street or in a shack.... but I am not sure WHERE you get the idea that this child is going to be raised in poverty and not be provided the nessecities of life.

I don't think anyone is disputing the fact that a child should not be raised in a home that cannot feed it or cloth it or keep a roof over the childs head.... but WHERE do you get that THIS is the case in this situation? You see the reason people are questioning your viewpoint is because your accusations that this child will not be cared for are totally baseless. There has been nothing to indicate this child will not have the care and love it needs to thrive and be happy.... In FACT I think this thread shows this child is indeed in loving caring hands that would not put the child in that position.

[Catty1]

I think the point raised - which slightly distracted the thread - is that there are thoughtless men and women who don't take measures to prevent pregnancy (I still recall the letter to Dear Abby YEARS ago where this woman was going to have sex with her boyfriend, but didn't want to ask him to share the cost of birth control because she thought she didn't know him well enough ). Even so, birth control can fail.

In a perfect world, every couple - married or not, old or young - would talk out and plan what to do in the event of a pregnancy. Most don't. And this has been a fact of human life for centuries.

As John Lennon said: "All of us were born out of a bottle of whiskey on Saturday night." (Okay, he was a tad cynical )

Now, back to the original poster here. She has support, financial and otherwise. I agree she needs to focus on her health and life with the baby on the way, and not worry too much about her present relationship with this wonderful guy. Friends are great to have right now, but she will have another major full-time relationship in a few months!

JMO. Let's give her some support here, ok?

[Marigold2]

I long ago stopped talking about any one member here. I was speaking in general about 15 year olds, which does not even apply to this PT member. As far as I know this young woman has family and friends to help. She is older and in school.

Again Sparks the merely obvious was what I stated but for you the incredibly obvious is needed.

[Catty1]

I agree, Marigold, so referred to the many people who do this, and don't have even basic support for the baby.

Racing Gurl, I hope you don't feel that you personally were being bashed. This kinda wound up being two topics in one thread.

hugs!

[Marigold2]

I agree, Marigold, so referred to the many people who do this, and don't have even basic support for the baby.

Racing Gurl, I hope you don't feel that you personally were being bashed. This kinda wound up being two topics in one thread.

hugs!

Dear Racing, Yes please except my my heartfelt apology if anything I said here hurt your feeling. My first post referred to you to consider adoption, all later posts where generic. If my daughter who is 20 was in your situation I would also talk to her about adoption. She has no desire or want of a child right now, she is too busy being 20, buying the latest nail polish, new in purse, going to the movies, going out to eat, going to get her hair down, travling, having dinner parties and working on her career. She is young, single and free and living it up. A baby would not be wanted or needed by her. She wants to focus on herself and frankly I think that is great. Plus she gets to keep her cute figure. Smart girl.
Your feelings are your own, as is this decision. I wish you the very best of luck and much happiness.
My posts were aimed at America in general and young woman in general.
At least here in america we can choose, we have a voice and we alone can decide to keep our child. Each woman has to live with that decision and hopefully she never regrets it. I have not regreted mine. My only hope is that fewer 15 year olds have to make that decision.

[lizbud]

Again Sparks the merely obvious was what I stated but for you the incredibly obvious is needed.

LOL


I thought everyone was expressing their views on single moms in general.
It would be very hard to give advice (except law ) to someone you didn't
know personally.

[sparks19]

I long ago stopped talking about any one member here. I was speaking in general about 15 year olds, which does not even apply to this PT member. As far as I know this young woman has family and friends to help. She is older and in school.

Again Sparks the merely obvious was what I stated but for you the incredibly obvious is needed.

LOL .... nice snarky comment there

You started out with how she should adopt.... then went on to explain that those who live in poverty should give their kids a better life..... how that applied to this thread I have no idea. forgive me for needing the obvious stated.... but I was not the only one that felt you were assuming this member was not capable of raising her own child.... afterall you stated she should adopt out and then stated reason for adoption is poverty and being a child and having "better things to do" than raise your child.

had you started out saying that those who are in extreme poverty and cannot provide the nessecities of life were the ones who should adopt out (instead of saying it in direct relation to the OP).... perhaps you wouldn't have gotten the reaction from everyone that you did.