S.O. had a friend like Dan once. S.O.'s life improved leaps and bounds when he ditched the "friend." (True, i probably never would have talked to S.O. if it hadn't been for the friend and the guy was tons of troublesome fun to be around, but that's as far as that went.) Joe's best bet is to STOP *thinking* of Dan as a friend and just an acquaintance. Second step is to realize that it's no major loss to shut Dan out of his life. I hate being so blunt and cold in my opinion, but that's just how i see it.
Four months is NOT a long time for "convincing" someone to notice you. Play your cards right, have patience, and drop little hints.
Help each other heal. Be his friend first and foremost. If and when the time comes that it feels right get over your worries and pre-conceived notions and tell him that you'd like to try dating him as more that a friend. If you think it would help you could tell him that you two can take things at his pace.
Aside from the dating thing... (Back to friend mode) When you were there talking and you thought you felt that he really needed a hug you could have asked him if he'd like one. He probably knows you know by now that he doesn't like to be touched but I'm sure it would have meant something to him to know you were thinking of his happiness and were considerate enough to put the ball in his court. (Again, part of the healing process. Some people would take this as feeding a male's controlling ego... but no... this is entirely about helping the abused. Every little block of trust building helps.)
You need to keep your eyes open for those little opportunities. ( I guess even though i was shy, meek, abused, unpopular, etc. i was always an opportunist and was good at helping others... when i finally got the chance.) Remember... It is easier to see outside of the raincloud from within; while it is hard for one to look into the storm cloud from outside.* (that speaks of seeing hope as well as understanding.)
* Wow, i just went to paste that into sayings I've come up with and found this "We're not psycho, we're just damaged goods. We need to be loved too. You get us at a discounted price; just we may need a few applications of super glue and duct tape." Just a bit of insight into my life. It was from a conversation i had with someone a while back. It made me smile. There's hope for you and Joe yet. :-) Eventually your pieces will get glued back together.
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Let nature guide your actions and you will never have to worry if you did the right thing. ~ crow_noir
The pet world excels where the human world is lacking; sterilization and adoption. ~ crow_noir
Please, if your dog is arthritic look into getting it Elk Velvet Antler. Look up my posts on it, PM me, or look it up on a search engine; but please if you love your dog and want it to live many more years consider this option. I've seen so many posts on here about dogs needlessly suffering. I can't make a new post about EVA every time so this plea is going here. EVA also helps with other ailments such as anemia.
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Originally Posted by crow_noir
sad I know... I have a few friends helping me out, giving me tips, but I'm the biggest chicken poo you'll ever have met... Kinda why I'm excited about finally going on anxiety meds, so I wont be as much of a chicken poo... I want a normal life darnit!!
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