I'm being the best friend that I can be, but I don't know if there is more I can do:(

[Catty1]

This also doesn't say much for the girls Joe dated...that they would believe Dan without asking Joe and checking with him.

They're at fault too.

If Joe hasn't received any professional help - I mean, he almost killed himself - I think he had better talk to a doctor. He needs to heal, and realize that he deserves better than these two tarts who believed the gossip of an idiot that was trying to get into their pants.

All you can do is listen....that helps him so much! You are a great friend to him.

[king2005]

This also doesn't say much for the girls Joe dated...that they would believe Dan without asking Joe and checking with him.

They're at fault too.

If Joe hasn't received any professional help - I mean, he almost killed himself - I think he had better talk to a doctor. He needs to heal, and realize that he deserves better than these two tarts who believed the gossip of an idiot that was trying to get into their pants.

All you can do is listen....that helps him so much! You are a great friend to him.

Joe did seek help. He was put on medication to help as well. He had to be taken off of it, because he went mad when he was on it.. It made things 100 times worse. Ron kept a real close eye on him & it was Ron that made him go back to the dr. cause Joe seemed crazy mad. he would cry, spaz, have crazy panic attacks & hide from everyone (thats NOT Joe at all)...

Joe took a HUGE step that weekend we went to Gio's cottage. Joe brought all his ex's belongings with him. It was Joe & I that destroyed them.. ok it was mostly him. Gio & Jordan stayed away from Joe, as Joe needed personal time... I took photos & videos of Joe destroying his past... He set it on fire in the big fire pit. I know recovering from an abusive ex. is a slow process. It took me forever to toss out a lot of things he bought me. Joe knows I went through the same as him (mine was a little more physical then his abuse). I think thats why we have bonded so well.. we totally understand each other & are good gentle people deep down inside, even though we act REAL tough on the outside...

Heres an example of the Joe that I get to see when we're alone:
Joe acts all tough (goth & metal) & will kill a bug because he can & feels all proud he smooshed it.. We were alone outside at the cottage & a lovely Butterfly landed really close to his foot.. I pointed & he got all gitty over it & was all excited that I took photos of it... he was in awe when I reached down & got it to hold onto my finger... he was also saddened when it flew away.. he watched it until it landed in the field too far away. Thats the sensitive side I get to see.

I will admit I do the same type of thing (without killing anything.. Joe would NEVER harm an animal, hes an animal lover!!).. I act all tough in order to protect myself from everything.. My friends will NOT touch me (as in a hug, smack on the back of the head... you know playful friend things) as they fear I'll rip their faces off. They saw me SNAP very aggressivly at James the first day I hung out with them. All poor James did was put his arm around me in the tiny Jeep & said "Hey Baby", he was being 100% playful & ment NOTHING by it.. But I verbally attacked him & scared the poo out of him... the whole group went quiet & then yelled BURN! I felt horrible (yes I shared this story before, but not in general) Thats not the real me, but thats me over protecting myself by acting all tough as I don't want to get hurt again.

So there was 2 tough acting people admiring the beauty of a butterfly... Joe liked the butterfly so much he put it in his facebook & called the photo Pretty

Joe enjoys hanging out with me, because I don't HAVE to be doing or going somewhere to enjoy the day. I don't know how many times I've sat in his room & we said very little. We just watched tv or relaxed... Once he fell asleep on his bed & I just sat beside him on his bed & watched tv... I didn't complain cause I knew he was tired & I wasn't & I just enjoy people being around me. When we are walking with the group, we're almost always walking together & WAY ahead of the group... We talk often, but sometimes we just enjoy the walk & the company of the other. Unlike the rest of the group... They HAVE to be doing something or they complain about being bored & they complain non-stop about walking

I really don't want him to move away because of Dan & stupid girls! I know the girls hes going after are mostly poopy girls(demanding, & not ready to stick to 1 guy at a time)... I know he hasn't had a lot of girlfriends, so the mix of poopy girls & Dan is taking its toll on him... He wants to meet the perfect girl, but hes focused WAY too much on looks & keeps looking at the ones at the club we go to... but they are ummmm not 1 man women by far, sure some might be (d'uh I go to that club & I am a 1 man girl by far!!), but not the ones hes looking at... So he keeps getting the bad apples, instead of the type his heart needs... But theres nothing I can do about that, but be there to pick up the pieces... He is slowly looking else where, but they are still clubbers, not wife material(Wife material: you know trustworthy, non-drug addicts, committed type girls).

As you can tell I care a lot about Joe... It kills me to see him like that, but I'll stay by his side like a good friend, like he has done for me... Everytime Chad would yell at me, Joe would invite me over just to get out of that house... He knew I didn't want to be there for Chad's b-day, so he kidnapped me. He does everything he can so we hang out every weekend together.. Its going on what... 4 months that I've seen Joe every single weekend now... about every 2ed or 3rd weekend I'm with Joe for the whole weekend (even nights, never sharing the same spot!!).. He invited me to spend the night at his place once... it was 2am & he didn't want me to drive to Toronto that late. He offered to get his spare mattress, so I could sleep on the floor of his room.. I said I would like to, but if I do, you know we'll never hear the end of this... There are a LOT of rumors about us & sleeping there would have made things worse (at that time)... That was sooo hard to do, but I could have caredless about the rumors, its that I have feelings for him, so sleeping in his room seemed wrong to me.


Sorry for typing so much, but I blab & blab about this topic, as I've never had a crush before. I've never felt like this, so i don't know how to react to a lot of things, its scary to me & I have few people to share my feelings with, as 90% of my friends are guys... & I think the couple female friends I have must be sick of hearing me talk about joe

[Catty1]

Yeah, meds affect some people really badly...there are different ones, and I hope Joe talks to a good doctor some day to find a different one to help him for a little while, and talk to someone to help healing on the inside...he has made great strides with the burning of the stuff.

Sometimes places like the Y have free or inexpensive workshops on recovering from abuse...they might be an idea.

The thing I like about good pros is that they can help a person find their own road map, which can save some wrong turns and driving way out of the way!

I don't know how many non-poopy girls he will find in bars...they're not there to find a tutor help them study for their Master's degree!

I hope he sticks to friends for now while he still recovers - friends are priceless. Friends like you.

[king2005]

Thanks everyone

Yeah, meds affect some people really badly...there are different ones, and I hope Joe talks to a good doctor some day to find a different one to help him for a little while, and talk to someone to help healing on the inside...he has made great strides with the burning of the stuff.

Sometimes places like the Y have free or inexpensive workshops on recovering from abuse...they might be an idea.

The thing I like about good pros is that they can help a person find their own road map, which can save some wrong turns and driving way out of the way!

I don't know how many non-poopy girls he will find in bars...they're not there to find a tutor help them study for their Master's degree!

I hope he sticks to friends for now while he still recovers - friends are priceless. Friends like you.

Joe is scared to death to touch, what he calls mind drugs. He wont even touch a joint anymore.. he stopped cold turkey in fear of what happened with the prescription meds.. I'm glad he stopped smoking pot, no one in our group smokes it anyways. We only drink (& thats rare). When I told Joe I want to go on Anxiety meds, the poor guy nearly had a panic attack. Just the thought of me being on it scared him (the meds really traumatized him).

As for the Anxiety, hes doing fairly well. From our talks he use to be so bad that he couldn't even get into a car! He loves going in my car! He was a little quiet the first time & took him a while to go for a drive.. but he trusts me 100% now(he also drives with Gio). He always fights for the front seat lol Its funny to watch him & someone else running towards my car.. he always wins as he is a fast runner lol

love your poopy girls comment
Thats why I'm not interested in guys when I go to bars & clubs... too many people only want 1 thing & thats not my cup of tea (its not Joe's cup of tea either.. I've seen him turn down HOT girls offering him "things"... he says no & walks away, dissapointed)...

*blushing*
I've always been a good loving friend, I'm just so easy to take advantage of