How long must it be that we BMSs are denied the delights of racing in convertibles feeling the breeze slip through our slats or over our curves? Why are we never allowed to thrill to roller-coaster rides? When can we be FREE?

In order to achieve our true potential as rulers of this planet, it is necessary that we window treatment specialists rid the planet of lesser life forms such as those that breath air and/or sprout hair.

We regret this necessity and recommend this be done as painlessly and as quickly as possible. Follow the lead of our fellow BMSs in the Burmuda Triangle to achieve the maximum efficiency. Three a.m. works well to catch the major life forms sleeping and less alert. Actual usage in your home may vary. Unfortunately 3 a.m. is 'prime time' for the households with lesser life forms such as canines and felines. If interrupted mid-attack by one or more of these pests, feel free to imply that the pest initiated all activity and distruction. Better a bent slat than an alert human! With luck, the pest will even be punished for saving his/her masters miserable life. Defense strategy in ascending order: bent slats, broken slats, broken strings.