Wwptd?

[Freedom]

I think that having him come in ,get his stuff, and leave is a good thing for her part. And calling the police just to say he was there well not necessary. I am very glad you went over to check on her once he left.

I think just stop by to say hey, maybe invite her over for tea or what not. Say Jonah wants to see a baby as he doesn't remember being one? Something to make her smile at least.

Wouldn't leave a card, that is SO formal and being a lawyer, I don't think appropriate; could just scare her. She is probably in a turmoil right now; do I divorce him; do I let him back? do I go to counseling? do WE go to counseling? And having a lawyer leave a business card just may push her into the wrong decision.

And yes, anyone who lives in a neighborhood wonders where is the boundary with the neighbors - ALL the time!

[Cataholic]

Freedom- in case I was not clear- I did NOT call the police when I saw him appear yesterday, though I thought about it. Had I heard a word of violence, I would have. I did 'hang out' closer towards her house when I saw him go in, just in case.

[Denyce]

If you were to give her any sort of number I would give her the number to the local women's shelter for advice and assistance. They can often help in ways the rest of us wouldn't understand. Even if she doesn't need an actual shelter over her head.

Otherwise you did perfect and often just knowing someone cares sometimes helps. But don't be surprised if she gets angry and defensive with you at some point. She I am sure still loves him. They always do.


Someone else mentioned she might be cut off from family. This is ABSOLUTELY often the case. Most abusers isolate. It gives them more control. The victim is also most vulnerable once the abuser realizes he/she is losing control.

Denyce

[Edwina's Secretary]

Johanna...I suppose the same as I would do with any other neighbor who was having a bad time of things...(except I might skip all the acronyms.... )

It is a shame many of us don't know our neighbors better. This might be an opportunity to get to know some of yours!

[lizbud]

Yeah, maybe the business card could be misinterrupted. Just thought
if she knew your name or had a number to reach people if need be, she could.

You really don't have to involve yourself any further than holding out a
helping hand if she wants one.Know what I mean?

[Daisy and Delilah]

Kudos to you for going over there and being there for her. That's alot more than alot of DV victims get. In my opinion, you've done the best thing you can do for her already. She knows where you are and she knows she has a friend she can turn to.

I would have given anything years ago if someone would have done this much for me. You're my hero!!

[Karen]

I'd continue doing what you ae doing, just offering to be a friend. And no, she might not have friends and family around. Women in long-term DV situations often end up cutting ties with everyone who once loved them, trying to survive the relationship.