Wwptd?

[Prairie Purrs]

I wouldn't leave a business card because of the possibility that the abusive husband might find it. If he's crazy enough to charge a bunch of police officers (and why the heck was he released so soon after that?), then I wouldn't want him knowing my name.

But I also wouldn't assume that the abused wife has family and/or friends who might help. Abusers often succeed in cutting the abused spouse off from family and friends, or they prey on people who lack support systems to begin with.

She knows where to find you and that you're concerned about her, and that most likely means a lot to her right now. Maybe you could check on her from time to time?

[RedHedd]

I think you did the right thing - what is DV?

[sparks19]

I think you did the right thing - what is DV?

Domestic Violence.

[Cataholic]

CID- I imagine that the most he was charged with would be assault of a police officer- an M1, or probably DC, which could be an M4, and, once he was arraigned (which would have been the very next morning) and posted bond, he is out. I imagine she did not go get a TPO, so, he *could* come to the home (though, I thought about calling the police), but, it usually isn't advisable.

I am in agreement with the no business card, and will make a effort to see her out and about and say hello. Strange thing is, I don't think I have EVER seen her out and about without him. So, maybe he has been "exclusive" with his property. Ugh.

[Freedom]

I think that having him come in ,get his stuff, and leave is a good thing for her part. And calling the police just to say he was there well not necessary. I am very glad you went over to check on her once he left.

I think just stop by to say hey, maybe invite her over for tea or what not. Say Jonah wants to see a baby as he doesn't remember being one? Something to make her smile at least.

Wouldn't leave a card, that is SO formal and being a lawyer, I don't think appropriate; could just scare her. She is probably in a turmoil right now; do I divorce him; do I let him back? do I go to counseling? do WE go to counseling? And having a lawyer leave a business card just may push her into the wrong decision.

And yes, anyone who lives in a neighborhood wonders where is the boundary with the neighbors - ALL the time!

[Cataholic]

Freedom- in case I was not clear- I did NOT call the police when I saw him appear yesterday, though I thought about it. Had I heard a word of violence, I would have. I did 'hang out' closer towards her house when I saw him go in, just in case.

[Denyce]

If you were to give her any sort of number I would give her the number to the local women's shelter for advice and assistance. They can often help in ways the rest of us wouldn't understand. Even if she doesn't need an actual shelter over her head.

Otherwise you did perfect and often just knowing someone cares sometimes helps. But don't be surprised if she gets angry and defensive with you at some point. She I am sure still loves him. They always do.


Someone else mentioned she might be cut off from family. This is ABSOLUTELY often the case. Most abusers isolate. It gives them more control. The victim is also most vulnerable once the abuser realizes he/she is losing control.

Denyce