Wwptd?

[Cataholic]

I was thinking that, too, Liz. But, my business cards says I am a lawyer, and I don't want to make her think I am 'in it' for something. (I don't do DV stuff).

But, from a single mom standpoint, I wanted her to feel supported.... Do normal people stress over stuff like this?

[sparks19]

I think the best thing you could do for her right now is maybe try to be a friend.... I know you hardly know her but perhaps send a little invitation to have her come over for some tea or something. Other than that what can you do. the police have been called and he seems to have left. But trying to establish a friendship might give her someone to open up to in case she doesn't have anyone else. or maybe drop by sometime and invite her out for a walk with the kids.

But at the same time you don't want to put your family at risk from this horrible man.

[sweetpatata6]

I think the best thing you could do for her right now is maybe try to be a friend.... I know you hardly know her but perhaps send a little invitation to have her come over for some tea or something. Other than that what can you do. the police have been called and he seems to have left. But trying to establish a friendship might give her someone to open up to in case she doesn't have anyone else. or maybe drop by sometime and invite her out for a walk with the kids.

But at the same time you don't want to put your family at risk from this horrible man.

I agree about mabey taking a walk with the kids.... Or where someone else suggested take Jonah over and say he wants to see a baby because he doesn't remember being one.

[gini]

I think that what you did was wonderful. I don't think you will ever know how much it must have meant to that woman - you probably offered her a lifeline that she never had. Can you just imagine what she is going through? It must be so comforting to know that a neighbor just a few doors away would help her if need be.

Men beating up women - aarrgghhh!

[cyber-sibes]

That was very kind of you to stop in & check on her. Since you are aware of the situation, you can at least keep an eye out for signs of trouble when you go by. I agree that abused women need support and may not get it from their families, so simple gestures of friendship probably mean more to her than you can imagine. You did good.

[Cataholic]

He has moved back into the house.

I am naive enough to think this could maybe be the wake up call he needs, and smart enough to know one time is usually not the pattern presented.

[lizbud]

He has moved back into the house.

I am naive enough to think this could maybe be the wake up call he needs, and smart enough to know one time is usually not the pattern presented.

Things could go downhill again anytime.I hope for her sake things work
out. Do you know if there are children involved?

[pitc9]

He has moved back into the house.

I am naive enough to think this could maybe be the wake up call he needs, and smart enough to know one time is usually not the pattern presented.

Ugh...

If I were in your shoes, I'd make sure she has my phone numbers.

[Prairie Purrs]

I wouldn't leave a business card because of the possibility that the abusive husband might find it. If he's crazy enough to charge a bunch of police officers (and why the heck was he released so soon after that?), then I wouldn't want him knowing my name.

But I also wouldn't assume that the abused wife has family and/or friends who might help. Abusers often succeed in cutting the abused spouse off from family and friends, or they prey on people who lack support systems to begin with.

She knows where to find you and that you're concerned about her, and that most likely means a lot to her right now. Maybe you could check on her from time to time?

[RedHedd]

I think you did the right thing - what is DV?

[sparks19]

I think you did the right thing - what is DV?

Domestic Violence.

[Cataholic]

CID- I imagine that the most he was charged with would be assault of a police officer- an M1, or probably DC, which could be an M4, and, once he was arraigned (which would have been the very next morning) and posted bond, he is out. I imagine she did not go get a TPO, so, he *could* come to the home (though, I thought about calling the police), but, it usually isn't advisable.

I am in agreement with the no business card, and will make a effort to see her out and about and say hello. Strange thing is, I don't think I have EVER seen her out and about without him. So, maybe he has been "exclusive" with his property. Ugh.

[Freedom]

I think that having him come in ,get his stuff, and leave is a good thing for her part. And calling the police just to say he was there well not necessary. I am very glad you went over to check on her once he left.

I think just stop by to say hey, maybe invite her over for tea or what not. Say Jonah wants to see a baby as he doesn't remember being one? Something to make her smile at least.

Wouldn't leave a card, that is SO formal and being a lawyer, I don't think appropriate; could just scare her. She is probably in a turmoil right now; do I divorce him; do I let him back? do I go to counseling? do WE go to counseling? And having a lawyer leave a business card just may push her into the wrong decision.

And yes, anyone who lives in a neighborhood wonders where is the boundary with the neighbors - ALL the time!

[Cataholic]

Freedom- in case I was not clear- I did NOT call the police when I saw him appear yesterday, though I thought about it. Had I heard a word of violence, I would have. I did 'hang out' closer towards her house when I saw him go in, just in case.